One True Love
by Londongirl8
Summary: This story is set a few years on when Amy and Karma are both at college. Following on from Karma discovering Amy and Liam had slept together, the friendship was never the same again. But how would it be if they were reunited again?
1. Chapter 1

**This story is set a few years on from the end of the first season. I'm based in London, UK, so please excuse me if I get some things wrong with how the education system works or use different words to describe things. Big first chapter, setting the scene. Let me know what you think? **

Amy's head was banging with a ranging hangover. A hangover from too much beer and rum, oh god…and tequila! What was she thinking? She slowly. VERY slowly, opened one eye and checked the time on the clock on the bedside cabinet. It was nearly midday. Wow – half the day has passed already, but then she remembered that she hadn't actually gone to bed until 4am, and then didn't get to sleep until nearly six.

Amy reached out and grabbed the glass of water she had wisely carried with her up to bed and gulped the water down quickly. God it tasted good, but Amy knew it was going to take a lot more than water to make the banging in her head go away. Closing her eyes again she let out a small groan of self pity. Why oh why had she drunk Tequila?

As she laid there feeling sorry for herself she started having flashbacks from the previous night. It had been the end of term party at her college in New York and it had been a riot! Amy couldn't believe how quick the time had gone as it still only felt like yesterday when she had landed at the Airport from Austin in the big, scary world that was the Big Apple. Amy was studying creative writing and journalism and figured New York was a pretty good place to do that as it never stopped! Surprisingly it hadn't taken her long to adjust to big city life, although she occasionally still got lost on the subway.

One of her classmates had held a party at his parents amazing loft apartment in the Meat District and there must have been over 200 people there, most of them Any had never seen before in her life. The music was amazing and everyone was letting their hair down having survived their first term. Just then, Amy felt a foot brush against her leg and she slowly turned her head to look over at the gorgeous dark haired beauty lying naked next to her. Amy smiled to herself and as she remembered why she hadn't gotten to sleep until 6am, she moved closer and placed an arm around the body and snuggled in close.

"Mgmummerrgh" was the noise that came back Amy's way. Amy smiled again and planted a gentle kiss on the naked shoulder.

"Morning gorgeous" she whispered quietly.

"Moorninguuuuuh" Came the sleepy reply "What..what time is it?"

"Midday" Amy responded

"Ohhhh God….my head hurts so much"

Amy let out a little laugh before adding "mine too. I'm blaming you!"

"Me? Why?" came the response

"You suggested the tequila!" Amy heard another small groan "ooooouuuch" and she watched the brunette gently turn to face Amy, her hair all over her face, but with the same sexy smile.

"I'm sorry Ams. Will you forgive me" Came the sexy suggestive reply

Amy felt a flood of desire "I can think of a couple of ways you can make it up to me!" as she leant in and planted her lips on Kate's.

Kate and Amy had met on her second day in New York. Kate was a year older than Amy and was working at a faculty event welcoming the new students, making sure they we're settling in OK. Amy had been instantly attracted to Kate who seemed totally cool and totally out of reach. Amy assumed she had a boyfriend and given her previous track record, had tried her hardest to kept the feelings of attraction she had under control. No way did she want to develop feelings for another straight girl. It was only a few weeks later when Shane was visiting, when he had confirmed that Kate was clearly flirting with her, that Amy started to believe something could actually come of it all. They had spent the day out together and ended up in a gay bar. Shane had basically taken matters into his own hands and run up to them on the dance floor.

"OMG you two! It's clear you both fancy the pants off each other...so will you JUST KISS!" And then he had shimmied away again, leaving Amy and Kate staring at each other. Taking in his words. Taking a deep breath Amy had pulled Kate towards her and the rest...was X rated!

One night as they sat listening to music, they quizzed each other on their love lives. Amy had told Kate that she had fallen in love with Karma back in High School she hadn't gone into too much detail. The truth was Amy didn't like to think too much about that time as it had been so hard. Not only was she coming to terms with her sexuality, she had also lost her best friend. Inevitably, Karma had found out about her and Liam and there had been a big show down in the school yard where Karma had publicly informed the whole of the school what had happened and had vowed never to speak to either of them again. Amy had tried to make Karma see reason. Had tried to explain that it had been a massive drunken mistake, and that she was all that mattered to her. Their friendship was all that Amy cared about, but Karma wasn't listening. She had felt humiliated and so wanted to do the same back.

Amy had run home crying and told her mum everything that had happened. How she had hurt Karma so much. How Karma hated her. How she had lost her best friend, and all her mum could say was that if she had slept with Liam, that maybe she wasn't gay after all! Amy couldn't believe what her mum was saying and she had stormed back out of the house to escape her. She went and sat in the park and wrote Karma a letter. A letter that explained everything. Explained how rejected she had felt that night. How she had drowned her sorrows and how her and Liam had ended up seeking comfort in each other. They both were hurting, but at the same time, neither of them were thinking straight. Amy wrote page after page of words expressing how much Karma meant to her. How she couldn't imagine not having her in her life. Not being able to call her her best friend, but it ultimately made no difference.

Karma completely ignored the letter as she did Amy for the rest of their time together at school. Amy's mum had insisted she go see a counsellor to discuss her feelings. Amy knew her mum meant her 'sexual' feelings, but after reluctantly agreeing to go, Amy used the weekly sessions to sit there and talk about Karma and how hard she was finding it without her best friend.

Shane had tried his hardest to get Karma to forgive Amy, but in the end she just stopped talking to him too. Liam on the other hand, had used his charm (and obviously hot body) to beg for forgiveness. And after showering Karma with gifts and declaring his love, she had agreed to give it another go. It killed Amy to see the two of them walking around school together, holding hands, kissing whenever Karma saw Amy was near by. Amy knew she had fucked up, but she didn't have to rub it in her face so much.

As the days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, Amy learnt to look the other way. To find places at school where she could avoid Karma's obviously show of 'look at me'. It wasn't easy and many, many nights Amy would lie in bed reliving that night, thinking...IF ONLY! If only she had never told Karma how she felt. If only she had just left the wedding there and then and not drunk so much champagne, if only she had never seen Liam, if, if...it was all pointless. She couldn't undo what had happened. She had tried to make Karma see that she had never meant to hurt her, but Karma had chosen not to forgive her. She had effectively chosen Liam over her and that was the bit that hurt the most. She had lost the person she loved the most in the world and Liam had won. It just wasn't fair.

The day was so painful for Amy to think about that she just didn't try anymore. She coasted through the rest of her time at school and when the options for college were being discussed, Amy knew she needed to get away. Far away. Like 1,744 miles away! She needed to be somewhere new where she could put her past behind her and, lose the tag of 'The-lesbian-who-fell-in-love-with-her-best-friend-who-rejected-her-and-so-went-and-slept-with-her-friends-boyfriend that she had carried around for the last few years at high school.

It was a full year after that awful day before Amy finally gave into Shane's attempts to get her 'out there' again. It was pretty disastrous. There had been bad blind dates, a failed attempt at internet dating, why she had even joined the soccer team. Nothing romantic had come of any of it, but it turned out Amy was a natural goal scorer with a sweet left foot!

Then one afternoon she was sat in a coffee shop reading a book when Karma and Liam walked in and up to the counter for take outs. Amy froze when she saw them, put the book up to cover her face, and then slowly (so as not to draw any attention) kinda slid down her chair, til she was practically under the table.

"It's OK" came a voice beside the table "they've gone so you can stop hiding now". Amy pulled the book down from her face to see who was the owner of the voice, and blushed to see a really hot girl standing over her smiling at her.

"Ummm, I..I thought I dropped something.." Amy said as she climbed back into her seat, realising how stupid that sounded as soon as the words had left her mouth.

The girl gave her a look of 'really'? And they both laughed.

The girl was called Jen and she ended up joining Amy for a coffee and Amy explained why she was hiding. Well not the whole story, as that would have taken all day.

Jen was a Sophomore at another school and Amy was amazed at how easy it was to talk to her. After an hour chatting Jen announced that she had to get going, and Amy had felt disappointed at the news.

"Would you...umm...fancy meeting up for another coffee sometime?" She had found herself saying without even really realising. She didn't want this to be the last time she was Jen.

Jen had smiled and replied that she would love that.

They had dated up until Jen had to leave for college. They tried the long distance relationship, but the relationship just came to a natural end, with them both remaining good friends. Jen had proved to Amy that she definitely liked girls and not boys, and had been a much needed boost of confidence.

Amy rarely thought of Karma these days, after all it had been nearly four years since they had last spoken. Every now and then she was reminded of a memory of the two of them in happier days, but since then, Amy had been living her life and making new memories.

Amy was enjoying the effort Kate was putting in making it up to her, when she suddenly stopped kissing her and pulled away.

"Hey!" Amy protested disappointedly "I was enjoying that."

"Me too babe" Kate responded as she started rushing out the room "...but I think I'm going to be sick!"

"Gross!" Amy had shouted out the room after her as she watched Kate dash into the bathroom and close the door behind her. If ever there was a passion killer, that was it! Amy let out a small groan in the acknowledgement that her horny feeling would not be satisfied, and slumped back down on her pillow. She knew the caring girlfriend thing to be would be to go after Kate and make sure she was ok. Hold her hair back. Rub her back and all that, but the truth was it would had probably made Amy hurl as well!

Instead she gingerly climbed out of bed and pulled on a t-shirt and walked downstairs to the kitchen. She grabbed a large bottle of water from the fridge and hunted for some pain killers for then both. Her bag was thrown on the floor, along with her jacket and Kate's dress! Amy smiled as she remembered how they had practically had sex on the stairs when they had got back after the party. She felt a wave of desire again between her legs at the memory, but then the hammer in her head started banging again, and all sexual desires were quickly forgotten.

Amy picked up her bag and found the desired tablets and let out a small cheer. Her phone was flashing indicating a message. She looked at the screen and saw that she had six missed calls from a number she did not recognise. She vaguely remembered her phone ringing at around 5am this morning, but she had been too distracted with Jen to care who it was. Whoever it was they had tried to call five more times since.

Taking the bottle of water and two glasses she started walking back upstairs and dialled the voicemail number.

"You have three new messages. Message Recorded at 4.57am on Friday 20th May"

Balancing the phone between her shoulder and her ear, Amy strained to hear the message, but all she could hear was someone breathing.

Beeeeeeep "end of message. Next message saved at 5.01am"

Amy sighed. Again the same thing...there was clearly someone there at the other end, but for whatever reason they weren't speaking.

As she approached the bedroom she called out to Kate in the bathroom "how you feeling babe?"

Kate just groaned back through the door. Amy smiled and walked back into the bedroom.

Beeeeeep "next message saved at 5.10am...

"...Amy...it's...it's me. Karma..."


	2. Chapter 2

Amy stopped dead in her tracks and literally felt her heart stop beating at the sound of Karma's voice. She stopped listening to the message after the first sentence. She felt her knees start to give way a little and split second later one of the glasses she was carrying came crashing down onto the floor, smashing as it landed. Hearing the crash, Kate opened the door to the bathroom.

"Ams?" she called out. "Are you OK?" Amy open her mouth to speak, but no sound came "AMY?" Kate cried out again "what's happened?"

Amy finally snapped out of the frozen state she had been in, and looked down at the floor and the smashed glass. "Shit!" She shouted. "It's OK Kate. I just stupidly dropped a glass and it's smashed everywhere, so don't come in without shoes on OK?Amy shouted back in the direction of the bathroom.

"I'll go and get some stuff to clean up the glass stay there OK?" She added as she walked out the bedroom door and saw a very pale and ill looking Kate staying at the bathroom door looking sorry for herself.

Amy walked over to Kate and planted a gently kiss on her forehead that felt all clammy. "How you feeling? Any better?" Amy asked as she took pity on the state of her.

"I feel like I have no stomach lining left and like in never EVER want to see, let alone DRINK a shot of tequila again in my life!"

Amy laughed softly before adding "babes. You say that every time! Now you head back an hug that toilet some more whilst I clean that mess up." Amy hurried down the stairs and closed the kitchen door behind her.

"FUUUUCK!" She said out loud. She looked down at her hands and saw that they were shaking slightly. Her heart was making up for it's earlier 'downtime' and was now beating as fast as anything. Karma had called her! Wow!

Amy took a seat at the kitchen table and dialled the number to access the voicemail so she could finish listening to the message. br /What on earth could she want after all this time of not speaking to each other? Amy took a deep breath and played the message /br

"...Amy...it's...it's me. Karma..." Amy could now tell that Karma was crying. "I...I'm...sorry for calling...but I, I just didn't know who else to call...I just wanted you...I..."

There was a lengthy pause as Karma broke down fully on the phone. Amy felt tears start to form in her own eyes at the sound of Karma crying.

Karma continued "...I know I have no right to call you...that you probably...hate me...but...I.." Amy's heart was literally in her mouth as she listened to the message. What had happened? Why was she calling after all these years?

"...there was an accident...it's my...my mum and dad...they they were in an accident and ...and" more sobbing "...I'm sorry. I'm sorry...I...don't know how to explain, I just really need you..."

There were more tears and muffled sounds and then that was it. The call ended.

"Shit!" Amy said out loud to herself as her brain tried to processed the questions that were quickly forming. What had happened exactly? What kind of an accident? Were her parents dead? Why was she calling her after all this time? How did she get her number?

And then the final words of the message just kept repeating over and over again. I just really need you! Karma needed Amy. She had said it herself. Amy took a deep breath and tried to think straight. What should she do?

Just then she heard a yelp from the bedroom and realised she had forgotten the broken glass and that Kate had obviously stepped in some. She quickly grabbed some newspaper and a dustpan and brush and headed back up stairs to find a very sorry looking Kate now sat on the bed trying to pull some glass out of her.

"Oh no. I'm sorry babe" Amy said when she saw the blood. "Let me get you a plaster. I told you not to come in without shoes on" Amy added as she popped to the bathroom cabinet to the first aid pack.

"I know you did" Kate replied " it's my own fault. Let's just say I'm not having one of my finest moments!" Kate looked up at Amy and gave a cheeky smile. Amy smiled back and walked over and knelt down in front of her girlfriend and tended to her cut foot. "How about once I've cleaned up all this mess, I'll pop out to the shops and get us some supplies and then we spend the whole day, we'll what's left of it, in bed?" Amy leant in and planted a kiss on Kate's lips. "Sounds perfect" Kate replied before adding "I love you." Amy looked back at Kate, smiled and replied "I love you too".

As Amy walked to the shops, she listened to Karma's voicemail again. And again. She was really torn over what to do. Whilst it was obviously upsetting to hear Karma crying so much, Amy couldn't easily forget the way Karma had treated her. She had broken her heart and then pushed her away as a friend. It infuriated Amy that she had to nerve to call up after all these years and expect Amy to drop everything for her. Amy stopped and sat on a bench as she contemplated her options.

Option 1. The angry 'how dare you contact me after all these years' option: do nothing. Delete the voicemail and pretend it never happened. Karma would have to find other people to help her through whatever had happened. She had made that decision when she had turned her back on Amy.

Option 2. The less angry, but still keeping my distant option: Send a text message back, saying that she was sorry to hear that there had been and accident, and that she hoped her parents were OK, but that she had moved on and didn't want to be reminded of the past.

Or Option 3. The what are you waiting for you idiot? It's Karma.. Call her back NOW option.

Amy stared at the number the phone as she worked out what to do. Her head was saying option 1. Screw her. You owe her nothing after the way she treated you, but her heart was saying option 3...it's Karma and she needs you. She's your best friend.

Amy's heart was pounding as pressed the screen and watched the word 'calling' appear.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to those who have followed this story and left a review. It's interesting to see the feelings towards Karma as a character. Hope to write another chapter soon, but let me know which way you think the story should go if you have any ideas! **

**Quick question for any American readers...how old are Amy and Karma supposed to be in the show? 15/16?  
**

Amy took a deep breath as she desperately tried to control her racing heartbeat as the call connected, still completely unsure as to what she would say. She was still thinking when suddenly, after just one ring, the phone was answered.

"Amy?" Karma's voice asked hopefully.  
Amy composed herself "Hi." Amy was annoyed at herself that all she could manage was a stupid hi!  
"Hi" Karma responded softly.

There was silence whilst they both worked out what to say next. Amy broke the silence "Karma...is everything OK?" Amy rolled her eyes towards the sky at her words...of course they weren't OK otherwise Karma wouldn't have called her. Duh! She added "I'm mean with your parents...and the accident...are they going to be OK?" Amy asked generally concerned about Karma's mum and dad, who had always been so welcoming to her, when they had been friends.

There was a pause and muffled sounds and Amy could tell Karma was crying. "there...was a head on collision...yesterday" Karma managed to speak in between her tears "a truck lost control. It hit them head on" Amy felt the tears spring to her eyes as she heard the details of the accident and realised how serious it was.  
"...the police told me it would have been instant. That they wouldn't have suffered for long. " Amy listened to Karma sobbing on the other end of the phone and felt useless. She just wanted to pull Karma in tight to her and tell her it would be OK. Obviously she couldn't do that.

"Karm.." Amy said softly "do you have someone with you? You have someone there right?" Amy asked with noticeable concern in her voice. "Is Liam with you?" More sobbing and broken words "ummm he lives in LA. He is flying back tomorrow. I..my friend Tilly, from college is here with me."

There was a slight pause before she continued  
"Amy, I..I can't believe they're gone! I..I just can't get my head around it."  
"It's the shock. It's going to take some time to fully sink in and for it to feel real." Amy had read up on grief and it's different forms a while back when she was attending counselling. The loss, whether it be from death or in another format, is hugely traumatic and the mind can react in certain ways to try and prevent more hurt.  
"I'm...I'm sorry I called you." Karma said surprising Amy a little at the sudden change in direction.  
"I...I mean, I have no right to call you after the way I treated you. The way I..." More tears, but Karma continued "..I ended our friendship. I had no right at all, but I couldn't stop myself Amy. I'm sorry, I just couldn't stop myself.."

Amy felt her throat tighten as she listened to Karma's words.  
"Karma, your parents have just passed away...it's OK you called me. It's OK." Amy responded, deciding not to focus on the apology or the acknowledgement of how she had treated her. Now was not the time.  
"Listen...I have to go OK" Amy said as she realised Kate would probably we wondering where she had got. Karma remained silent at the other end. "Karma...it's going to be OK right? It doesn't seem like it now, but it's going to be OK."  
Amy stood up from the bench and prepared to finish the conversation "Karm..I'll call you tomorrow to see how you are."

"Amy.." Karma spoke just as she was about to end the call "...will you come to the funeral? I..I don't think I'll get through it otherwise." Amy hadn't seen that coming. It was one thing to talk on the phone after all these, another to actually see each other.  
"I'm not sure" Amy replied honestly.  
"I'll call you tomorrow OK?"  
"OK" Karma replied quietly as the call ended.

Amy's head was buzzing with thoughts and questions. Had she done the right thing by calling? Was Karma truly sorry about the way she had treated Amy all those years ago, or was she just saying it because she was lonely? Because her parents had just died. Amy tried to imagine what it would feel like to lose both your parents at the same time. It would feel like your whole world had changed. Amy walked to the shop to get supplies, her mind still racing, undecided what to do. She knew she didn't owe Karma anything after not being friends for all these years, but something inside still felt a need to help her.

Back home, Amy was busy in the kitchen preparing some brunch to be consumed in bed when Kate entered the room. Amy noticed her hair was wet.  
"You showered?" She asked  
"Yes I hoped it might help me start feeling more human again!" Kate replied.  
"And? Are you?"  
"Well let's just say I now feel like someone who's just been bitten by a zombie and is half human still, rather than the full blown Waking Dead extra I was 30 minutes ago". Kate walked towards Amy, arms outstretched pretending to be a zombie.

Amy gave a weak smile back that Kate spotted instantly.  
"Hey...what's up?" She asked concerned.  
"When I checked my phone earlier I had like five or six missed calls from Karma." Amy said  
"High school Karma?" Kate asked, the surprise clearly audible in her voice.  
"Uh huh" Amy nodded  
"High school Karma who dumped you as a friend?"  
"Yes. The very same one." Amy replied  
"Shiiiiiiiiit...what did she want?" Kate asked  
"Well she left a message at 5am something about her parents being in an accident. So I called her. Just now. When I went out. And..." Amy looked up at Kate and she couldn't control the tears that had formed in her eyes  
"Kate, they were killed. Both of them. In a car accident. It's...it's just awful. They were such kind people..."

Amy felt a relief to be able to cry and Kate pulled her into her arms.  
"Hey! You're shaking!" Kate said "it's ok. It's just the shock. It must have been a shock. After all this time, and then to find out about her parents."  
Amy squeezed Kate a little harder as she felt her words comfort her. It had been a massive shock, and she was truly upset about Karma's parents, but Amy knew that some of the tears she was now crying had not been caused by the news, but memories that had come flooding back at the sound of Karma's voice.

Kate held Amy right in her arms and she stroked Amy's head. Amy took in the clean smell of shampoo and shower gel and the soothing feeling of Kate's warm, soft skin next to hers. She started to compose herself and reached up and planted a gentle kiss on Kate's lips.  
"I'm sorry...I'm being silly" Amy said, slightly embarrassed.  
"It's OK" Kate replied softly planting a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I'm sure it's kicked up all sort of emotions that are now running inside of you". Kate paused and then looked Amy in the eyes before adding "Ams...I know how much she meant to you...how much she hurt you...you lost your best friend. I totally get that. I get it's a shock...the accident, but also just speaking to her again after all these years. I understand OK."

Amy felt years start to form again in her eyes as she listened to Kate's words. She was so lucky to have Kate in her life. She loved her so much.  
"Thanks. Thank you for understanding. I'm so lucky to have you" Amy said in between pecks on Kate's lips.  
Kate laughed "I'm happy to see that I seem to have redeemed myself in the girlfriend stakes after my chunderfest this morning!"  
Amy laughed and added "you always redeem yourself Kate Gilmore. You are adorable, even when you are throwing up!"

Amy turned her attention to the shopping "now how about I make us some brunch?" After they had eaten they climbed back into bed and slept for a couple more hours. As Kate lay in Amy's arms and she nodded off to sleep, Amy found her thoughts flooded with memories of her childhood and Karma's parents. The dinners she had had at their house eating all types of vegan and healthy foods. To Amy it was a novelty.

Amy remembered that Karma had hated it, hated their alternative way of living. She had at times been embarrassed and had longed for 'normal parents' who ate 'normal' stuff like a pizzas and meatloaf. Amy had told Karma off so many times for being mean about her parents, and how much they loved her, but Karma never really listened. Karma always joked that they should swap families as she loved Amy's mum. Amy remembered wishing that that could have happened in real life.

Later that evening they decided to head out to the movies as that was all they were both capable of. On the walk back, Amy's phone pinged to indicate a message. Pulling out her phone she saw the number she now recognised as Karma's.  
"It's Karma." She told Kate as she clicked in to read the message.  
"Is she OK?" Kate asked, which made Amy love her even more. Amy read the message

'**_Hi. funeral is taking place on Thursday. Please say you'll come? K x'_**  
"She doesn't say how she is. The funeral is on Thursday" Amy told Kate "what do you think I should do?" She asked.  
"Well do you want to go?" Kate replied.  
"I kinda feel I'd like to pay my respects to her parents.."  
"But.." Kate added hearing the hesitation in Amy.  
"But...well it's the past and I'm very happy with my future right here." She reach down and grabbed Kate's hand.  
"I know babe. And I'm happy too, and because you're happy, we're happy... then it's OK to go back into the past, and I'll be supporting you." Amy smiled at Kate and nodded her head.  
"You're right."

Amy was due to fly home for Christmas at the weekend and so once home she called the airline to change her flight. She would head home on Tuesday instead. They had already made plans that Kate would come and stay with Amy on the 27th for a couple of days and then they would head back to New York for New Years Eve. There was no way they were missing their first NYE together in New York. Just before Amy went to sleep that night she grabbed her phone and tapped in a quick reply to Karma's text.

**_'I'm back in Austin on Tuesday evening. A x'_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. I've been struggling to work out how this story would actually pan out. Think I have a plot now! I hope those of you reading this, will stick with the story to see how Amy reacts to seeing Karma again.**

On Tuesday Kate had travelled to the airport with Amy to say goodbye.  
"I'll see you in a couple of weeks" Kate had said.  
"Errr excuse me. I'll see you tonight when I Skype you!" Amy had responded  
Kate laughed, "of course babe, but I'll see you...and feel you...in a couple of weeks."  
Amy pulled a sad face "I'll miss you you know."  
Kate pulled an equally sad face before adding "I know. I'll miss you too".  
Kate pulled Amy into her arms and gave her a hug "promise me you'll call me once you land. Oh and after the funeral. And on Christmas Day.."

Amy pulled away slightly so she could see Kate's face. Kate had been totally amazing over the whole Karma thing and Amy going to the funeral, and now for the first time, Amy picked up the insecurity Kate was feeling.  
"Of course I'll call you. I'll call you every day OK. I love you and I can't wait for you to come to the madhouse and meet my mum."  
Kate smiled "me neither." They kissed goodbye and Kate watched as Amy checked in and then headed through security.  
Once out of sight, Amy's phone buzzed with a message.  
'Miss you already! K xxx' Amy smiled and tapped out a response 'Me too. Looking forward to our bedtime Skype chats ;) x'  
The response back made Amy blush slightly and check behind her to make sure the person in the security queue behind hadn't read that over her shoulder!  
'Stop it! You'll get me arrested for acting all strange in the queue if you keep texting things like that!' Amy had responded.  
'Spoilsport :( Until later then... X'  
'Can't wait!'

Amy put her phone away and made her way through security. After stopping at the shops to pick up some suitably NYC touristic gifts, she headed to the gate and waited for the boarding call.  
Amy had just started reading her book when her phone buzzed. Karma's name flashed up on the screen. Amy felt her heartbeat rise and was instantly annoyed with herself. Why did that happen? Why did she have a physical reaction every time she spoke to Karma...or even just saw her name?

Amy clicked to read the message. 'Hi. Need a lift from the airport? K x'  
Amy considered her answer. She would have loved a lift as her mum was working so unable to pick her up, but she didn't think it was a good idea to get that lift from Karma.  
She typed her response 'I'm good thanks. See you on Thursday. Amy' As Amy sent it, she reread the message and thought it was perhaps a little too cold.  
'PS - hope you are doing OK?' Amy sent the message and then turned her attention to the book. She felt a bit harsh, but she really didn't want Karma to think that everything was OK again. That because she had apologised to her via a text message they were friends again. Amy was going to the funeral to pay her respects to Karma's parents. If Amy repeated it enough...then maybe she would even start to believe it herself!

After waiting for like seemed an age at baggage collection, Amy slowly made her way through the arrivals gate. She was excited to be home back in Austin, and was looking forward at seeing Shane over Christmas. She walked past the crowd of people waiting for their loved ones, the anticipation and excitement clear to see. She was head towards the machines to buy a bus ticket home when she heard a voice.  
"Need a lift after all?"

Amy stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned around to look straight at Karma. Her heart started beating so fast and Amy was powerless to stop her mouth forming a big smile at the sight of her former best friend. So much for playing it cool.  
"Hi!" Amy managed after an age. Her throat felt as if there was a large boulder in it. She tried to swallow, but it refused to go away.

As she looked at Karma and how she had changed over the years. Her hair was dyed a deep red colour and was shorter than before. It was how shoulder length with a fringe and Amy thought to herself that she looked amazing dressed in black jeans and a simple crisp white shirt that showed off her curves perfectly. Amy swallowed hard and reflected on how she must look to Karma dressed in her trackie bottoms and hoddie with her trusted Vans and without a dot of make up on. About a year ago Amy had chopped her hair off into a pixie cut which she wore with a clip in to keep the fringe of her eyes. Compared to the perfected Karma standing in front of her, Amy looked a mess! But then Karma's appearance started to crack as the tears started to fall down her face.  
"They've gone Amy..." Karma cried.

Without even thinking Amy walked over to where Karma was standing and pulled her into her arms. Amy hugged Karma tightly as the tears turned into sobs and Amy knew that if she let go, If she stopped holding her, Karma would crumble to the floor.  
Amy stood there holding her ex friend in her arms and that was all that was important right then. She knew people were probably looking at them, but she didn't care. They could stare all they wanted.  
"I...I'm sorry" Karma mumbled through her tears.  
"It's OK" Amy said reassuringly as she stroked Karma's head in a soothing way.  
"Let's get out of here and find somewhere to talk OK?" Amy suggested after a while. Karma pulled back from Amy's arms and nodded. Amy followed Karma as they walked to the car park and after loading up her bags, Amy took the keys as Karma was in no fit state to drive.

They exited the airport and joined the freeway heading towards their home town. Neither of them spoke as Amy drove. Amy was busy concentrating on driving as it had been a while since she was behind a wheel as there was no need for a car in NYC. Karma sat silently in the passenger seat staring out of the window.  
Amy tried to imagine how Karma must be feeling right now. How do you cope with losing both your parents at the same time.  
One day they are there...they next they are gone and you have to organise not one, but two funerals. Sell the house you grew up in, sort out the financial aspects of their lives.

Amy took a turning off the freeway and headed towards a place they had occasional visited when they were younger. It was a park that had good views over the town and as it was approaching 10pm all the lights were on and it was a way of reminding yourself where you were from. When they had been younger, the view had seemed massive. Now, after time away for her home town, Amy realised just how small the place was. How there was so much else out there aside from this little town in Austin.

Amy switched off the engine and undid her seatbelt so she was free to turn and face Karma.  
Karma sat looking out the side window, her head turned away from Amy. Amy slowly reached out and placed her hand on Karma's shoulder. "Karm...it's OK you know...you can talk to me.." Amy whispered. Karma finally turned to face Amy and Amy could see the pain she was going through etched on her face.  
"Amy..." Karma said when she finally started speaking..."I didn't know what else to do.. Since the accident...since they died...the only person I've wanted...the only person who would understand...was you...I...I just needed to see you...so I just waited at the airport...I'm sorry. I..I know you didn't want a lift, but..."  
Amy reached down and took Karma's hand in hers. "Karma, it's OK right. I...I was just a bit shocked you know...it's been a while and all that, but I'm here now to support you through these next few days OK? Your parents were practically like parents to me too growing up, and I..I just can't believe they are gone..!"

Amy felt Karma squeeze her hand tighter at the final words of her sentence, and realised if it was hard for her to accept they were gone, imagine what it must be like for Karma.

Karma turned and looked at Amy and despite all the years that had passed, the falling out, the fact they were different people than when they had last spoken, Amy felt all that slip away. As she sat there staring at Karma, all she could think about was all the fun they had growing up. About how close they had been. They had been inseparable and had always been there for each other.

That had all been lost, and as Amy sat there looking at the sadness in her friends eyes, she realised just how much she had missed Karma. She realised how much she had missed having a best friend. Sure Amy had moved on over the years, and Kate was not only her lover, but also her best friend these days, but Kate didn't know half the things that Karma knew about her. Amy realised she missed Karma more than she thought she did. She realised that the emotions seeing Karma again were stronger than she anticipated they would be.  
"I've missed you Karma" Amy heard the words come out of her mouth without realising she had said them.  
Karma looked straight into Amy's eyes and noticed the tears starting to form in Amy's eyes.  
"I missed you too. So much. I can't even begin to explain how much. How rubbish it has been not having you as my best friend these past five years." Karma paused before adding "but that was all my fault. I made a choice and I lost you as a consequence. I'll never forgive myself for the pain I caused you back then.." Amy heard the emotion catch in Karma's throat as she stopped talking and closed her eyes trying to stop the new wave of tears.

Taking a deep breath, Amy herself tried to control her emotions enough to be able to speak. " look...that was all a long time ago OK?" Amy squeezed Karma's hand so that Karma opened her eyes and look back over at Amy "what's done is done. I'm here now to support you as a friend Karma. I'm here to make sure you get through this awful tragedy. To make sure you are OK! Well as OK as you can be.." Amy wasn't the greatest at expressing herself and she knew how clumsy she sounded.

Karma squeezed Amy's hand again in gratitude before adding "Amy I need to explain myself. About why I treated you so badly back then..after Liam.."  
Amy interrupted "Karm, like I said, it was a long time ago. I'm not going to pretend like it never happened or that it didn't hurt like hell, because it did. But right now, now is not the time to go back over the past. Right now is only about getting through the next few days OK. Nothing more. Then once the funeral is out the way, then you need to start thinking about the future, because I know you must feel really angry now as to why this happened, but you have to think about the future. Being strong and getting through this is what your parents would have wanted from you."

Karma took in Amy's words and nodded "I am so fucking angry.." The tears started to spring up in her eyes again and Karma let out a wail as she broke down in tears again "why them Amy...why did it have to be them? They never hurt anyone...anything...they were such kind people...they didn't deserve to have a daughter like me! I...I let them down...and now they are dead...now I can never make them proud of me.."  
Karma collapse into a ball in the car seat and Amy leaned over and pulled her into her arms again and just let Karma sob her heart out.  
"Karm, your parents loved you so much. You made them so proud every day...don't you dare think that you let them down OK?. Parents love their kids unconditionally, even if they mess things up sometimes. You meant the world to your parents and they will always love you.."  
They must have sat in the car for at least an hour, Amy just holding Karma as she cried until there were no more tears left inside her. Karma then eventually feel asleep and Amy slowly made the journey back to Karma's house to drop her off. As she pulled up near the house she saw Liam's old vintage car parked in the drive way.  
Amy felt a strange feeling inside her at the sight of the car and after a few moments realised she was slightly jealous. She didn't know exactly why, but it was definitely jealousy.

Amy woke Karma up and explained that they were back at hers. Karma looked exhausted, she could barely make it out of the car "but...how will you get home?" She asked Amy concerned that she had put Amy out.  
"It's OK. I'll call a cab from yours".  
Karma opened the front door and the two former friends were greeted with the sight of a very worried Liam  
"Karma where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick.." Liam shouted angrily.  
Amy could tell that now wasn't the time to be yelling at Karma who was about to collapse  
"Liam.." Amy interrupted "...she needs to get to bed NOW before she passes out OK? I know your angry, but Karma really doesn't need a lecture right now...she needs to lie down.." Liam stared at Amy and Amy could see the anger her felt towards her in his face "and what the fuck do you know about what Karma needs?" He spat at Amy.

"Because she's just spent the last 90 mins in my arms crying her heart out OK!" Amy shouted back, unable to keep her cool. Liam was being a dick and Amy didn't know what his issue was, but she wasn't going to stand there and not stick up for herself.  
Liam went to open his mouth to say something back, when he was distracted by Karma voice "stop it.." She said quietly and then again, only this time slightly more louder "stop it PLEASE!"  
Amy and Liam both looked over in Karma's direction who was standing leaning again a wall for support.  
"Liam I'm sorry I worried you...I..I didn't mean to OK, i..I just needed to see Amy.." Karma smiled weakly at Amy before adding "I'm lucky to have you both here.. Please..please don't fight...!" Karma paused before adding "Amy's right, I'm going to hit the sack. I feel like I've just completed 20 SoulCycle sessions back to back!" She gave another weak smile and then turned to head towards her bedroom with Liam following afterwards.

Amy found herself standing in the living room of Karma's parents house, surrounded by all the familiar pictures and furniture. It had hardly changed in the five years since she was last there. They were just some more pictures on the wall of Karma singing. Karma and Liam at graduation. Karma and her parents by their smoothie van. Amy was interrupted from her trip down memory lane by Liam walking back into the room.  
Amy turned to look at him and notice how stressed he looked.  
"I..I should call a cab.." Amy mumbled reaching for her phone.  
"No don't go! " Liam said quickly  
"Amy I'm sorry I shouted earlier. I had no right to do that..I was just so worried about her." He walked over to where Amy was standing and then surprised her by hugging her "it's good to see you again. Will you at stay for a drink?" Amy hesitated  
Liam pulled away and with his best puppy dog eyes pleaded again "please Amy. Just stay for one and then I'll drop you home."

A few minutes later after Liam had checked up on Karma, Amy and Liam were sitting out back in the garden with a beer in her hand, and a six pack by their feet. As she took the first mouthful she realised how stressed she had been feeling. The beer tasted so sweet as it slid down her throat. She closed her eyes as she felt the sensation of the beer wash over her. It had been a shock seeing Karma again at the airport and now here she was, sat drinking beer with Liam. The guy that cost her her friendship with Karma all those years ago. The guy she slept with that night five years ago which made Karma hate her. In fact Liam was the only guy she had ever slept with!

Liam broke Amy's thoughts "I'm sorry again for shouting"  
"It's ok. I probably would have reacted in the same way."  
"It's just she hasn't been good you know. Since the accident. She has been walking around like..like a zombie. She hadn't cried once since she found out."  
Amy sat and absorbed the news. Wow no wonder Karma was exhausted if that was the first time she had cried.  
Liam continued "she didn't even tell me what had happened. Like she couldn't accept it was real. I found out from her friend who called me. I got here as soon as I could. We've been taking it in turns to stay over with her...so she's not alone" Amy looked up from the spot on the decking where she had been staring confused by Liam's words. Who had been taking it in turns? Why wasn't he staying here every night?

"It's the shock" Amy said as she finished the rest of her beer and reached down to help herself to a new one, twisting off the cap.  
"The loss of one parent is enough, but two at the same time!" Amy shook her head "I just don't know how someone gets over that?"  
"I know. And I just feel so helpless. Like everything I'm saying and doing is just making things worse. I still really care about Karma and.."  
"Still?" Amy interrupted, confused by the use of the word.  
Liam looked over at Amy for confirmation "you didn't hear? We broke up. About a year ago now.."  
Amy shook her head "nope I didn't know. I'm sorry to hear that. I thought you two would be forever.."  
"Me too" Liam answered honestly as he reached down and grabbed his third beer. "To be honest, I don't think she ever really forgave me for that night. You know...the night we..." He stopped himself from finishing the sentence. Liam took a big gulp of his beer before adding "She tried to...but deep down I always knew that I wasn't enough for her.."  
Amy was amazed at Liam's words. He was drinking his beer fast and Amy could tell he was getting drunk.  
"Liam I'm sure that's not right...it was probably more to do with you going away for college and stuff.." Amy didn't know why, but she found herself trying to think of something positive to say.

"Ha. If only. The truth is she was trying to make good on a bad a decision she made. She picked the wrong one you see Amy..."  
Liam paused and held Amy's attention before adding.."she should have picked you!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to those of you who have posted reviews of this story. Sorry its taking a while to get going! To try and make up for it I'm posting two chapters tonight. Let me know what you think? **

Amy didn't really take much notice of Liam's words. He was drunk and clearly pissed at Karma from dumping him. Amy reached to pull out her phone to call a cab, and saw three missed calls from Kate and a worried text message. Asking if she was OK?

"Shit!" Amy said out loud  
"What's wrong?" Liam asked  
"I completely forgot to call my girlfriend to let her know I had landed ok" Amy felt awful and started tapping out an apologetic message explaining she was fine and would call her in 20 mins.

Amy stood up and felt a slight head rush from the alcohol. "Thanks for the beer. I guess I'll see you on Thursday. At the funeral."

Liam remained seated looking ahead down the garden. "Amy don't you care what I just said? About Karma? Aren't you remotely interested in what I just told you?"

Amy sighed. It had been a long day and sudden she felt really tired and just wanted to be home in bed, talking to Kate. She really didn't want to have to get in a stupid conversation with a drunk Liam.  
"Liam. You're drunk! I'm tired. Karma was totally besotted with you, everyone knew that. She's got her perfect man. That was the past OK. I get that Karma hurt you..." Amy let out a little laugh "seems she is good at hurting the ones who love her. LOVED her" Amy quickly corrected herself.  
"Let's just try and help her get through these next few days OK?"

Before she left she popped her head into Amy's bedroom, which was pretty much as it was the last time she had been there. Karma was fast asleep on top of the bed in a vest top and shorts. Amy walked over and gently tried to pull the covers over her so she wouldn't get cold in the night.  
As she did so, she accidentally brushed Karma's naked shoulder, causing Karma to mumble something indistinguishable and then rolled over onto her side. Amy pulled her hand away so as not to wake her up. Just then her phone beeped loudly indicating a message.

"Shiiiit" Amy whispered as she fumbled for her phone to switched off the volume. When she looked back over to the bed Karma was awake.  
"Hi" Amy said with a smile. "Sorry I woke you. How are you feeling?" Amy asked.  
Karma pushed herself up in bed so she was sitting up.  
"I feel like...like it's real now." Karma replied. "I think I've been in total shock. It's real"  
"Liam said you hadn't really cried...before tonight?" Amy asked concerned.  
Karma nodded. "When they told me...I think I just shut down, because I didn't want it to be true I was numb. I couldn't feel anything. That...that was why I needed you Amy. Thank you so much for coming, for being here."

"Its's OK. Liam is here for you too." Amy mentioned "he cares about you Karm, he just wants to help."  
"Is he OK? I should have told him where I was." Karma acknowledged.  
"He...he's currently sat outside in garden a bit drunk." Amy paused before continuing "he mentioned that you guys split up. That was a shock!"  
Karma nodded "yeap. We umm we gave it a good go, but It's well a bit complicated."  
"You don't have to explain anything to me" Amy added.  
"Actually Amy...there's a lot I need to explain to you." Karma responding, holding Amy's gaze.

Amy heard the beep of a car horn indicating her taxi had arrived.  
"Errr that's my cab!" Amy explained "I have to go. I'll umm call you tomorrow OK?"  
And with that Amy left the room and grabbed her back heading for the door.

Once back home, Amy was grateful that the house was empty. She scribbled a quick note to let her mum know she was home and that she would see them in the morning, before heading straight to bed to call Kate.  
"Hey you" Kate answered "is everything OK? I was really worried about you babe"  
"I know. I'm so sorry. Things ummm well I kinda ended up seeing Karma" Amy said, feeling slightly guilty at mentioning her name.  
"OK" Kate said surprised "and so...how was it. How was she?" Kate asked.  
"Not good Kate. She was basically waiting for me at the airport."  
"Really? Wow..she must have been desperate to see you" Kate replied, unable to hide the jealousy she was feeling.

Amy noted it in Kate's voice, and was keen to quickly dismiss any concerns.  
"Yeah she like totally turned up unexpected. Broke down in tears so I drove her home to her folks house...her house. Liam was there."  
"Liam? as in Liam who you..."  
Amy interrupted Kate "yes Liam who I slept with. In fact the only guy I have had sex with!" Amy really didn't like to think back to that night which had on both of their counts been a complete disaster. Amy had not enjoyed it one bit, but had played along pretending Liam had given her an amazing orgasm. Liam in return had been SOOO drunk he barely lasted five minutes. It was defiantly a night to forget, however the consciences of their actions that night, meant neither of them would ever been able to forget it!  
"Wowww" Kate said "and what's it like seeing them both again?"  
"Weird as fuck!" Amy replied instantly. And it was! She had spent all her childhood with Karma and after they had fallen out, Amy had really struggled to accept that their friendship was over. Seeing Liam again reminded her as to what had happened and despite being five years older, and living in New York, Liam made her feel slightly uncool again. Coming home and seeing them both, had made her feel insecure and at the mercy of them both, which she had not expected.  
"Kate. I am really sorry I didn't call you when I landed. I'm sorry for worrying you. It's all just been a bit mental you know?"  
"It's OK. I mean I was worried as fuck, and you know if I'm being totally honest...I'm really trying hard to not think about the fact that you are with the first girl you fell in love with!"  
Amy got what Kate was saying, and if it was the other way round, she knows she would be having exactly the same feelings.  
"Babe...she may have been my first love, but you are my love now. I fucking love you so much. I know it's only been a few hours, but I'm missing you massively!"  
Kate laughed..."oh really? How massively." Kate teased  
"Like black hole massively" Amy replied  
"Wow" Kate replied "that's pretty big! That officially makes you really sad you that don't you?" Kate joked down the phone.

Amy laughed. She didn't care how it made her sound. She did miss Kate. She loved college and New York and coming back to Austin rely like she was taking a step back in some way. Sometimes it was nice to take a trip down memory lane, but only if you had good memories you wanted to relive. Coming home to Amy meant Karma. It meant remembering how she felt after that first kiss. How she struggled to understand what she was feeling towards her best friend. The arguments with her mum about her sexuality and then finally the loss and loneliness she had felt without Karma in her life.  
They chatted for around 40 mins before finishing the call. Amy promised to call Kate as soon as she woke up in the morning.

As Amy lied back in her bed looking up at the stars on the ceiling, she couldn't help her thoughts turn to Karma. She had really surprised her by turning up at the airport, and genuinely seemed to need Amy there. Amy knew she didn't owe Karma anything after the way she had treated her, but she knew deep down that she still cared for her. Obviously only as a friend. An old friend who at one time knew everything about her. An old friend who broke her heart.


	6. Chapter 6

**Just a small fun chapter for tonight that is M content so you have been warned in case you don't like this kind of thing. I'm not very good at writing it, either! This was for all those of you who liked the Amy/Kate relationship. The Karmy story will continue. Let me know what you think?**

Amy woke up to the sound of her phone buzzing on her bedside cabinet.  
She groaned, reached out and picked up the phone to see a text message from Kate. It was 7am.  
Amy clicked on the message  
'Morning you. Was having the best dream just now, where we were having totally hot sex in a lift. And then my alarm went off :( Am now all turned on and my girlfriend is miles away. Call me x'

Amy smiled, stretched and then called Kate's phone. Kate answered it instantly  
"Thank god you called!" She said huskily down the phone.  
Amy laughed "wow that bad huh?" Referring to Kate's obvious state of arousal  
"Amy it was so fucking sexy. I'm SO turned on" Kate groaned down the phone.  
"OK well maybe I can help..." Amy teased  
"Oh I think you can definitely help me.." Kate responded happily  
"So tell me what we were doing when the alarm went off and I'll pick up the story.."  
"Well we were in this lift heading up to hotel room. We'd been out to a club and we had been flirting with each other all night. Like we basically couldn't keep our hands off each other in the back of the cab. You were literally sitting on my lap, grinding away on the back seat. The driver was totally getting off on it.."  
"Don't blame him" Amy said sexily as she felt her own body start to become aroused at the image Kate had described.  
"I know" Kate agreed "like totally turned on you were kissing and biting my neck and I had my hand on your breast, and your nipple was rock hard"

Amy let out a small groan at Kate's words. She moved her own hand under her vest top and started tugging at her nipples. Rolling and pulling at them between her thumb and finger until they stood hard.  
"What happened in the lift?" Amy asked keen to get to the same aroused state as Kate clearly was.  
"Well this hotel was massive. Like 100 floors and the lift was glass so you could see down into the foyer. We checked in and all I could do was look at your amazing ass and try and control myself and then we went over to the lift, there was another couple in the lift with us, but we literally didn't care...we just walked in and started kissing again."  
"In front of the couple?" Amy replied "gross man!"  
"It was actually really hot" Kate laughed before adding "well I thought so.."  
"And...?" Amy added impatiently  
"And...well the couple got out the lift on floor 24 and then we were alone and you pushed me hard against the lift wall and my arse hit the alarm button and the lift stopped mid floors and we like totally didn't care."

Amy closed her eyes and used her imagination to picture her and Kate stuck in a lift.  
"Amy you whispered in my ear that you wanted me so much and the heat of your breath and they way it felt on my skin was so real in the dream. I pushed my hand down your jeans and into you. You were so wet.."  
Amy caught her breath as she listened to Kate's voice down the phone. She moved her hand down between her legs and started rubbing hard "I'm so wet now.." She whispered back  
"Me too...I'm touching myself but in my head I'm touching you. How does it feel?"  
Amy groaned as her wetness grew "amazing".

Amy took over with the dream "so back to this lift... You're wearing a dress right. And I'm on my knees in front of you. My tongue and fingers are inside you..."  
Amy heard Kate groan in excitement. As Amy described in graphic detail what she was doing to Kate in the dream it didn't take Kate long to reach her much sort after climax.  
"Fuck me!" Kate laughed down the phone. "That was almost as good as the real thing!"  
Amy laughed. She now had a massive throbbing between her legs that needed fixing.  
"I think every morning should start this way. Guess who I'm going to be thinking about at work today?"  
Amy smiled to herself. Job well done.  
"Talking of work..."Kate said "I'd better get my skates on or else I'm be late"  
"What!" Amy shouted down the phone. "Kate Maguire I think you owe me an orgasm! You're not going anywhere!"

Kate laughed "I'm sorry babe, but remember we're ahead here and I honestly can't lose this job"  
Amy opened her mouth to argue her case but before she could say anything Kate hung up the phone with a quick "sorry babe. I'll call you later. Love you!"  
Amy was outraged and quickly typed a text message.  
'I mean it McGuire! What kind of a girlfriend are you? Waking me up, getting what you wanted and then leaving me here begging!'

Kate sent a text back which consisted of a winky face and a kiss. Amy sighed at her cheek, and tapped a quick response back to inform Kate that she was now on an official sex ban.

Amy needed to deal with the throbbing and ache between her legs and so she closed her eyes to try and return to the lift fantasy and imagine what Kate would have done to her. Amy was just getting back into the flow when her phone started ringing beside her.  
Pulling the phone eagerly to her ear she grinned at the fact that the threat of the sex ban had clearly worked.  
Amy groaned down the phone, her excitement clear to hear 'Finally..." she whispered before adding forcefully "now tell me how you would fuck me...before I explode!"  
There was a pause of around 10 seconds before a the voice on the other end spoke "Amy? is that you?"  
Amy froze "Karma?"

FUCK! Amy couldn't believe she was it wasn't Kate on the phone and wanted to die! she had been caught with her hand down her pants by Karma and it was so embarrassing.  
"Ummm Shiiiiiit" Amy started to speak  
"I'm...I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt" Karma said equally as embarrassed  
"I ummmmm I'm sorry Karma I ummm I thought you were someone else." Amy paused " I mean I thought you were Kate."  
"Who's Kate? Karma asked  
"Kate is ummm my girlfriend" Amy cleared her throat, still mortified that she had been touching herself on the phone with karma on the other other end. "She's umm in New York at the moment. We ummm we had just been speaking you know, and umm I thought it was her on the phone when you called." Amy found herself unable to stop speaking "I umm I didn't see the umm caller display you see. God, this is like totally embarrassing!"

Karma was silent on the other end of the phone, but Amy could hear her breathing. "Actually it was pretty hot!" Karma responded flirtily.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thought I'd do a teeny tiny chapter update tonight. It's only a short one, but at least it keeps the story ticking along!**

WOAHHHHH Amy thought! Did Karma just really say that! God, it just got worse!

Amy's heart was beating fast. She couldn't distinguish the cause of it. Was it the booty call with Kate? the shock of realising it was actually Karma on the phone? Or the fact that Karma appeared to be flirting. WTF?

Amy remained silent as she tried to work out the the fuck to say back. Karma beat her to it.

"Listen Amy. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You're clearly...umm... in the middle of something.."

OH God Amy thought...yes I was in the middle of masturbating! How do you recover from this situation. Amy racked her brains to try to say something funny. To try and make light of this incredibly embarrassing situation.

"Ha - well I WAS in the middle of something, but funnily enough the moments kinda past now" Amy admitted.

"Really?" Karma asked. Amy thought she detected a hint of suggestion in her tone.

Amy cleared her throat and decided a change in subject was the best approach. "So umm it's pretty early still Karm. IS everything OK?"

"Yeah Umm I'm sorry for calling so early, I umm just woke up feeling really embarrassed about the wreck I was last night. I wanted to apologise again." There was a short pause, during which it seemed Karma was finding the courage to continue " I... well I wondered if you wanted to maybe meet for breakfast. My shout. It's the least I can do"

Amy considered the invitation but didn't think it was a good idea. "Listen Karma, you really don't have to apologise for anything OK. It's a tough time for you. I'm just pleased I can help."

Amy added "Thanks for the offer of breakfast, but I haven't actually seen my Mum since I've been back so I'll probably just hang out here if that's OK?"

Wow - that must have been a first, Amy actually choosing to have breakfast with her mum over, well over anything else! Amy also realised that Karma knew that as it was now 7.39am that her mum would already be at the TV studio. It was a rubbish excuse, Amy knew it, and she knew Karma would see through it too.

Karma responded chirpily "Of course. I... I understand, I just... well ummm it's OK. Another time." Karma hesitated before adding "I'm...umm sorry to have interrupted you and everything. Please say hi to your mum from me, and I guess I'll see you tomorrow right?" Karma added.

The mention of the word mum, made Amy feel real bad.

"Listen Karma, how about we meet up for a coffee this afternoon? I meant I what I said about being here for you."

"I would love that" karma responded happily. "Usual place?" Karma asked.

Without even thinking Amy responded "of course! Usual table if it's free. 2pm?"

Despite not speaking for the past five years they had both slipped into the old Amy and Karma without even really trying. This fact frightened Amy slightly. As much as she didn't want it to be true, there was still a bond there between them.

Amy admitted defeat and reluctantly got up and headed to the shower. She was still feeling ever so slightly sexually frustrated and as she felt the soothing hot water encompass her body she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation.

Just as she did, Karma popped into her mind. The hair, the body, the suggestions. "Fuck!" Amy shouted in surprise as she snapped open her eyes. This was NOT happening. Amy flicked the shower control from hot to cold!


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for those who have read this story and continue to do so. Please leave a review and let me know if you think I'm heading in the right/wrong direction!**

Amy was at the coffee shop early. Like stupid early. 30 minutes early, because she had been unable to relax at home. The coffee with Karma was stressing her out for some reason, so she left with way too much time and had arrived early. As it turns out, so had Karma.

Amy saw her as she approached the coffee shop as she had grabbed their old familiar seat but the window where they had spent many a Saturday morning people watching. Amy tried her hardest to ignore the fact the she felt nervous. That there were definitely butterflies in her stomach and yeap, the palms of her hands were sweaty. As Amy stood on the other side of the road looking at Karma she contemplated walking around the block to calm herself down and also to not appear so eager. The option was removed when Karma spotted her through the window and waved happily. Her smile literally took Amy's breath away.

Fuck! Thought Amy as an old familiar feeling hit her. The feeling of love. Why was she still feeling this? She wasn't in love with Karma. She was in love Kate. So why was her stomach in knots and her heart racing super fast? Amy took a deep breath and told herself to pull herself together before waving back at Karma and crossing over the road.

As she opened the door to the shop Karma stood up at the table and as Amy approached there was an uncomfortable and awkward half hug, half peck on the cheek. Both of them still unsure of what spending time together signified.  
"You look great!" Karma said as she stood opposite taking in Amy's appearance.

"Thanks" Amy replied in response to Karma's remark.

Amy smiled, pleased with the complement. She knew it shouldn't matter, but back in the house, Amy acknowledge that she was taking a long time to get ready for just a coffee with an old friend! She was keen to make up from her appearance when they had met at the airport last night. Amy knew she was trying to make Karma realise what she had missed out on. It was stupid, she knew that, but she was powerless to stop the feeling.

As she sat there curling her hair, she remembered the night of her mums wedding when Karma had broken her heart by telling her that she just didn't love her in the same way. Amy had hoped that one day Karma would change her mind, but you don't just become gay because your best friend wants you to. It was a hard lesson, but Amy had become stronger from it. Since then she had definitely made sure the feeling were mutual before offering her heart out again. She had definitely preferred to have been chased rather than do the chasing for fear of chasing the wrong girl again!

"You're early too!" Karma happily pointed out.  
"Yeah it's umm been a while since I've been here so I umm allowed a bit longer than I needed to get here." Amy knew it was a rubbish lie. She lived 10 mins away, but it was better than admitting that she couldn't for some reason stay away any longer!.

"What would you like to drink!" Karma asked "do you want a donut?" She smiled at Amy as she stood up.  
"Hell yes I want a donut! Can I have a expresso"  
"Ohh look at you with your grown up drink." Karma joked. "Sure I can't tempt you with a hot chocolate with all the toppings?"  
Amy smiled back at the mention of their old drink they used to spend hours nursing as they sat there discussing everything under the sun. It had been in this very coffee shop that Amy had confessed to have gotten her period and Karma had talked about the boys she fancied.  
"Hmm tempting, but my tastebuds have moved on since then" Amy said confident she had this under control.

Karma returned with their drinks and two donuts which they cut in half so they could share.  
"How are you feeling about tomorrow?" Amy asked. Unsure what else to say.  
"Shit scared" karma replied honestly. "I'm scared of losing it in front of all those people."  
"Karma...you have to accept that it's OK to 'lose it' as you put it. You have every reason to fucking well lose it. I mean I'd lose it if it was my mum and I don't even really like her!" Amy replied and instantly felt mean for saying that about her mum.

She had been slowly coming round to the fact that despite sleeping with Liam, Amy had preferred the company of women. The fact that Kate was coming to stay was a huge step forward.  
"I know." Karma whispered."it's just all so scary Amy. The whole funeral and then what happens afterwards?" She paused to control the tears forming in her eyes "I mean once I sell the house then that's it. I have no reason to ever come back to Heston." She swallowed hard before continuing "can you imagine what that feels like? I don't feel like I have any place to belong to anymore. Like my past life doesn't exist." Karma looked up and looked directly at Amy "that's why it's been so great having you here. You remind me of them. Of my past. Does that make ANY sense?" Karma asked

Amy felt the tears start to form in her own eyes and swallowed hard. "Of course it does. It makes perfect sense. Karma this is your home. It will always be your home. You have so many friends here. That doesn't change just because you have to sell the house." Amy tried to sound convincing, but she knew exactly what Karma was feeling.

Changing the subject Amy informed Karma that Shane would be at the funeral tomorrow. It had been Shane that had passed (via Liam) Amy's new mobile number to Karma. After speaking to Karma, Amy had called him straight away and told him what had happened. Amy had made him promise that he would come to the funeral.

Karma replied "Good I'll be able to apologise to him for being such a bitch."  
"Karma.." Amy started "...tomorrow isn't for that OK? It's for saying goodbye to your folks. All what happened...well it was all a long time ago, and we've moved on." Amy said the words out loud even though she knew deep down she didn't quite believe them herself.

Karma nodded "I know you've moved on. I...I'm really happy for you." Karma added enthusiastically "...so tell me about your girlfriend. Kath was it?"  
"Kate" Amy corrected Karma, slightly annoyed at the error as she knew that Karma had got the name wrong on purpose. What also annoyed Amy was why it mattered so much?

"Sorry" Karma apologised "Kate. Right. How long have you been together?"  
"Pretty much from the start of term. She is in the year above and was working at welcome week at my college. She was really friendly and funny and I pretty much fancied her instantly. We just clicked and it all happened really easily. She's coming to visit over Christmas week." Amy knew she was gushing a bit, but she didn't care. This was her showing off.

Karma listened as Amy spoke proudly about Kate, and it was clear that Amy was happy.  
Amy felt a bit guilty about feeling so happy.  
"Liam told me about you two splitting up. What happened?" Amy asked, before adding "errr I mean you obviously don't have to say if you'd rather not."  
Karma paused before speaking  
"it's a bit of a long story. It wasn't one thing...Things hadn't been right for a while. It wasn't even Liam's fault. He's been great...it just...I just wasn't happy." Karma confessed.  
"He's pretty gutted about it." Amy added  
"He told you that?" Karma asked surprised  
Amy nodded. "He got a bit drunk last and said some stuff." Amy remembered about what Liam had said about Karma picking the wrong one.  
"What did he say?" Karma asked with a note of worry in her voice that Amy picked up on.

Amy paused as she considered her answer. Part of her wanted to push Karma for an answer to what Liam had claimed. To find out if there was any truth in what he had claimed.  
"Just the rambling a of a drunk" Amy lied. "Is there someone else?" Amy asked?  
Karma sheepishly looked down into her mug and, rather than answer Amy's question she quickly announced that she needed more hot chocolate. Amy eventually caved in and asked for one for herself.  
Whilst Karma was up at the counter Amy felt herself relax. There was a feeling of familiarity around Karma. Amy acknowledge that she liked this feeling, she just didn't quite know what to do with these feelings.

Karma insisted on driving Amy home, but during the drive she barely spoke. Amy put it down to the funeral tomorrow. As they pulled up outside Amy's house Karma turned the engine off but sat starring straight ahead, with her hands still on the wheel.  
"You OK?" Amy asked  
Karma remained looking ahead but shook her head to show that she wasn't.  
"I'm scared Amy." Karma admitted  
Amy turned to face Karma and reached over to take one of her hands in hers.  
"Of course you are. It's natural to feel scared."  
Amy pulled Karma towards her to give her a hug to try and show that she had support, but Amy noticed that Karma wasn't relaxed she was holding her breath...holding back.  
"Karma...I am here for you. You can be scared, it's OK to be scared. I'm here for you"  
Karma pulled away slightly so she was looking into Amy's face. She went to open her mouth to say something, but hesitated and decided against it.  
"What is it Karm?" Amy asked, her eyes searching Karma's for a clue.

Amy didn't have to wait long for a clue as Karma leant in and kissed Amy.

**SOOOO - what should happen next?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Soooo - what would you do in Amy's situation? I've been surprised by the love for Kate from those of you who have posted reviews (thanks v much). I hope this chapter is realistic. In that Amy responds in a way we would expect from her character...and Karma, well maybe things come a bit clearer. **

Amy couldn't believe what was happening. Karma's lips were on hers. Those big soft lips that five years ago was all she ever wanted. But that was five years ago!

"Don't" Amy said as pulled away from the embrace and pushed Karma away. Pushed her lips away from hers.  
"Amy..." Karma started to speak, but Amy didn't give her a chance to finish...she knew she couldn't. Amy was already feeling totally confused. She couldn't allow Karma to say something or do something else that would add to that confusion.

"Don't Karma"'Amy repeated firmly holding her hand up in a stop sign. Amy looked karma in the face and knew she was hurting. Amy knew she had to get away from this situation.

"You're upset OK." Amy paused as she tried to compose herself, to think how best to handle the situation  
" I get that it's a difficult time for you right now Karma... I understand." Karma sat listening to Amy's speech  
"You're grieving..." Amy concluded "things are a bit of a mess right now...so Let's just pretend this never happened OK."  
Amy went to open the car door, but Karma reached out and grabbed her Amy's arm to stop her leaving.

"Amy stop!" karma cried out "Please..I need to tell you..."

"Tell me what exactly Karma?" Amy snapped back, pulling her arm free from Karma's grip  
"tell me that all of a sudden you fancy GIRLS? That all of a sudden , since you lost your parents you NEED me? All of a fucking sudden...the minute I tell you I'm happy and in love with my girlfriend...you're what? Going to FINALLY tell me that you love me?"

Amy felt so scared...she couldn't hear anything like that. Since the shower incident that morning, she had been feeling totally guilty about how Karma was making her feel. The butterflies, the racing heart, dry throat...she had to put some distance between them.

Karma turned away from Amy's angry stare and whispered "it's not like that." Shaking her head.

"Karma - that's EXACTLY what it's like" Amy exploded  
"it was the same when we were growing up Karma. You get what you what you want. You ALWAYS get what you want!" Amy felt all the pain of the past five years come flooding out. Seeing Karma again, had hit her harder than she had expected. Amy felt the emotion begin to grown within her.

"Amy I'm sorry if you feel that way...I'm sorry that I have made you feel that way. I...I was horrible to you. I...treated you SOOO badly...I deserve everything..." Karma hesitated before continuing "...everything that's happened!" The tears were falling.

"Karma that's BULLSHIT!"Amy snapped back.

"Your behaviour did not cause that accident. Your parents did not die because you were a bitch five years ago OK!" Amy shouted "it isn't all about YOU Karma!. When are you going to get it?"

Amy asked without really waiting for a reply "you need to deal with your loss in the right way. You need to accept what has happened and not try and find excuses."

Karma was staring out the side window, so that Amy couldn't see her face, couldn't see her tears.

"Karma you need some help ok. Professional help. I...I can't help you deal with this...it's too much for me...things have gotten all mixed up...I think you're confused and I thought I could do this...come back and pretend that I was OK with what happened five years ago...but I'm not OK with it..." Amy felt the tears start to form in her own eyes "I want to be here to support you Karma, but I'm finding it harder than I thought."

Karma spoke through the sobs "you've got it all wrong. I promise you...it's not like how you say it is...I...fuck!"  
Karma groaned and turned to face Amy  
"I'm sorry I kissed you. I REALLY am. It was wrong of me to do that to you, to be disrespectful to Kate..." Karma paused before reaching over and placing her hand on Amy's hand.

"...you think you know it all..think you know me..but you don't...not really..I know I messed things up. I know I really hurt you back then and you have every right to hate me and be angry." Karma paused before adding

"Yes of course I'm grieving, and you are right...I do need to see someone about how I deal with my mum and dad dying, but that isn't why I kissed you."

Karma leant behind to the backseat an pulled out a large padded brown envelop from her handbag.  
She left the envelop resting in her lap for a few seconds as she took a deep breath.

"Amy I know I don't have the right to ask anything from you...I know that." Karma placed the brown envelop in Amy's lap before adding " but this is for you"  
Amy looked down in her lap at the package, scared of what it might contain.

Karma continued "Amy...remember the night of your mums wedding...when you told me you had feeling for me?..."  
Amy turned to face Karma, but remind silent  
"..well I hated you that night. I hated you for feeling the NEED to tell me that...because it messed up everything. It messed everything fucking thing up!"

"But..." Karma continued "...You told me because you HAD to know...you had to know whether or not I felt the same way."

Karma wiped the tears from her cheeks "I HAVE TO KNOW AMY. I have to know if you honestly don't still feel something for me."

Amy stared back at Karma unable to speak. The truth was she didn't know what she felt. She was so confused. Up until a few days ago she was perfectly happy with her life in NYC. With her relationship with Kate. It was easy and simple.

Now as she sat here she didn't know. She honestly didn't know.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for the follows. This chapter is about the internal battle within Amy. Karma has messed with her head again and she just doesn't know what to do. **

Back in the safety of her house. Amy was relieved to find that her mum wasn't home. She ran upstairs and closed the bedroom door, threw the package that Karma had given her onto the floor and fell onto her bed. "Fuuuuuuck!" Amy screamed into her pilliow. What a fucking mess!

Amy replayed the kiss and argument with Karma trying to make sense of it all. What the hell was Karma playing at? You don't go round kissing people you haven't spoken for five years! Especially those that used to be in love with you...AND had girlfriends!

Amy let out a groan of frustration as the guilt then started swimming around her head.

Had she been too hard on Karma? Her parents had just died after all. Should she have cut her some more slack? She was clearly messed up and Amy had said some pretty harsh things. This always happened whenever Amy lashed out...it felt great at the time, but then the guilt always followed.

It had, after all, been Amy's decision to come back for the funeral. She could have ignored Karma's voicemail message or sent her condolencies, but just explained that they weren't friends anymore and that she wasn't sure what it had to do with her. She hadn't done that. She had rushed back to try and support her childhood friend.

If being around Karma was bringing out insecurities or even worse...repressed feelings, then Amy had to take some responsibility for that. She had wanted to believe that she was over the way Karma had rejected her, ended their childhood friendship, but she clearly wasn't as 'healed' as she had thought. So much for all that therapy!

Amy rolled over onto her back an stared at the ceiling trying to put things into perspective. Trying to work out what she was feeling...aside from completely and utterly confused.

Karma's words bounced around her head "I have to know Amy if you honestly don't still feel something for me". As Amy laid there she reviewed the evidence as if it was a court case.  
**  
The case AGAINST having any feeling towards Karma  
**This was simple. The evidence why Amy no longer had feelings for Karma was the fact that she was with Kate. They were happy and Amy loved spending time with her. Their life in New York was pretty great and Amy was excited about how things were going. They had fun together, had loads in common and had great sex.

**The case FOR Amy still having feelings towards Karma**  
Amy sighed as she tried to answer this question. Where to start? The way she dropped the glass on the floor at merely hearing Karma's voice. The sweaty palms, the racing heartbeat, the electricity she felt when she had brushed Karma's naked shoulder, the inability to deny the sexual attraction not to mention the split second when Karma was kissing her when Amy felt an explosion inside her before she pulled herself together.

Amy was the accused, the defendant AND the judge in this case. Summing up the evidence, Amy concluded that seeing Karma again had caused a number of feelings to bubble up to the surface. Sexual attraction being a key one. Amy admitted to herself that she was attracted to Karma, but that that was OK, but she was only human. It was possible to be attracted to other people and not act on these feelings. People did it all the time.

Amy also knew that Karma's behavior was undoubtedly affected by the recent death of her parents. She had admitted herself that she only felt like she belonged here when Amy was back. That was not healthy behavior and Amy suspected that Karma was confusing her feelings. You don't just change sexuality like that. Amy had spent a good year of her life wishing Karma would, but as the therapist had pointed out, if it was going to happen it would have happened naturally.

But then Amy thought about Liams drunken words and Karma's comment about Amy not really knowing her...what was that all about? Amy looked down at the envelop on the floor and weighed up the risks of opening it. She could just throw it away. She could give it back to Karma and tell her that whatever was in there she didn't want to know. They were where they were for all kind of reasons and thats how it should stay. She could go to the funeral tomorrow and then never see Karma again. That would be possible. That would be the sensible option.

Amy stared at the package and as her head tried to convince her to do the sensible thing...to ignore what her heart was telling her, she knew deep down that there would be only one outcome...since when did Amy do the sensible thing? She reached down off the bed and picked up the envelop and started ripping open.

Tipping it upside down onto the bed the contents scattered out. There were at least 40 letters all addressed to Amy, stamped and sealed and unsent. There were dates written on the back of the envelops and as Amy spread them out over the bed she saw they started from the day after the wedding. There was also a CD with a date on it dated 4 years previously. Amy recognised her own handwriting and saw that the letter she had sent to Karma after the truth had come out about Liam was also there...completely unopened! Amy couldn't believe that Karma had never even read her letter. Had never even considered hearing her out. She felt tears start to form in her eyes. Maybe if Karma has read her letter, maybe she would have understood why Amy had slept with Liam, (rejection and drink), understood how much she regretted it (massively) and how much she missed her best friend (with all her heart).

As the tears started to fall down her cheeks Amy felt like she was mourning five years of lost friendship that could have been saved if Karma had wanted it to...if she had bothered reading her letter. Amy had poured her heart out into that letter and seeing it laying there unopened five year on was another kick in the heart. Why? Why did Karma not open it? why did she forgive Liam, but not Amy? WHY?

Amy needed to get out. She needed some space...and some alcohol!  
She grabbed her coat and walked out of the bedroom leaving the letters scattered all over her bed. She would decide what to do with them later. If she was going to read them, she had decided she needed some dutch courage. If she was going to bin them, then she needed to have the excuse of being drunk. She picked up her phone and texted Shane. Bar - 15 minutes! Emergency! X

**What would you do if you were Amy? Read or throw? Let me know x**


	11. Chapter 11

**Woke up stupid time this morning and started writing this. Amy is scared of what she might be feeling again towards Karma. Scared of what that might mean about her and Kate. In this chapter Amy has to decide what to do? To read or not to read...that is the question! As ever, it's so nice to receive a review if you are enjoying this story. Or any feedback you might have. Am I stretching it out too long?**

Amy practically ran to the bar. It didn't matter that it was only early afternoon. She needed a drink. Correction. She needed lots of drinks. By the time Shane arrived at the bar 20 minutes later she had already finished one glass of red wine and had started on the second.  
"Wooooah" Shane said as he hugged Amy who had positioned herself on a bar stool "that bad?  
"Worse!" Amy responded "...karma kissed me!" Amy confessed

"WHAAAAAT" Shane responded as his mouth dropped open.  
"I know right!" Amy replied in-between mouthfuls of wine.  
"What the fuck Amy! When did this happen? I thought you only got back last night?" Shane said still shocked by the news "does she not know about Kate?"  
Amy blushed slightly as she thought back to the embarrassing phone sex misunderstanding. "Oh trust me...she knew about Kate. It happened this afternoon. We met for coffee." Amy decided to leave it at that. She knew Shane would have a field day if he knew the whole story about the phone sex mix up.

Shane ordered himself a drink and then plonked himself onto the barstool next to Amy.  
"So she knew you had a girlfriend and she still kissed you? Wow - I can totally see that Karma hasn't changed much! Still out for herself."  
Shane's words, whilst partly true stung Amy a little. For some strange reason she found herself feeling a bit protective over Karma. Shane however was not holding back.

"Seriously...is it not enough that Liam is broken hearted, she now has to try and mess up your love life."  
He paused took a large gulp of his drink and then turned to face Amy "WAIT! You didn't kiss her back did you?"  
Amy answered immediately  
"NO!" Amy responded firmly "I..I pushed her away and said that she wasn't thinking straight and that we would put it down to grief and that we would never mention it again."  
Amy left out the bit about her seriously wanting to kiss her back. With the help of some alcohol inside her, Amy totally acknowledge the feeling she had had when Karma was kissing her, it was like the past five years had never happened...she felt like she was 15 again. The kiss had maybe lasted a whole three seconds, but it had been enough to mess things up.

Shane looked Amy straight in the face "Ams...is there something you are not telling me?"

"YES!" Amy blurted out...relieved that she had been rumbled. she needed some support here, she needed Shane to tell her what to do because she sure as hell couldn't work it out!  
"Oh god Shane I'm like totally confused." Amy took another gulp of her wine before telling Shane everything she was feeling.

Shane remained silent as he listened to the story.  
"I...I just don't know what to do Shane. I feel like I could probably walk away from things now, and just put it down to nostalgia. Seeing Karma again has stirred some old feelings, but that's it. When I go back to New York everything will be forgotten"

"BUUUUUT" Shane added sensing Amy's hesitation  
Amy closed her eyes and sighed "BUT...a part of me...really needs to know what Karma feels about me". Amy confessed  
"I'll tell you what Karma feels about you. She feels like you're happy and she not and so she's gonna mess your head up! Amy she doesn't care about you, she's just using you. She didn't fancy you back then..."  
"Errr..." Amy interrupted "..thanks for the reminder!"  
"Well it's true. What makes you think she fancies you now?"  
Amy thought back over the moments she had been with Karma for signs.  
"But why did she kiss me then?"  
Amy asked confused, the wine finally starting to kick in.  
"Why? Who knows! Why did she kiss you the first time? To be popular by pretending to be a lesbian. Why would she kiss you now? She'll have a reason. There's always a reason when it comes to Karma"

Shane finished his drink and then ordered them both a new one.  
"Wow..." Amy said "...you REALLY don't like her do you?"  
"I hate the way she treated you back then. I saw how painful it was for you, and it was horribly standing on the sidelines watching, knowing that the only person who could make it better was the one who was causing all the pain to start with."  
Amy reached for her glass "You make a fair point! So why are you here? If you hate her so much why did you come home for the funeral?"

"I don't HATE her, and what has happened is like really sad. I just think she is a selfish person..and you my lovely..." He leant over and planted a kiss on Amy's cheek before continuing "..are one of the nicest people in the world!"  
Amy didn't feel particularly nice right then. If she was a good person, she wouldn't have considered kissing Karma back. She wouldn't have been thinking about touching Karma...they were not actions a good person with a living girlfriend should be considering!  
"Besides..." Shane continued "Liam and you both asked me to. So I'm kinda her for you two more."  
Amy smiled "well I sure am pleased you are here..." She raised her glass to do a toast, Shane followed her actions "...I mean who else would be happy to help me get drunk at 4pm in the afternoon!" Amy winked at Shane as they clinked their glasses.

They spent the next hour gossiping and catching up. Shane filled Amy in on his various boyfriends and how he hadn't met anyone yet who he wanted a steady relationship with. He felt at there age it was about going out and having fun at college...not sitting in and watching tv together. Amy smiled at the thought of Kate and her snuggled up on the sofa watching House of Cards or a documentary. To Amy that was what she wanted with someone. She wanted the closeness and security to be able to pull on your comfiest clothes and veg out together. She wanted a best friend as well as a lover. That was what she had wanted five years ago...that was what she wanted now..what she felt she had with Kate...but maybe Kate was just a substitution for Karma

Maybe what she wanted was waiting for her in the envelops on her bed?

Amy had made her mind up...she needed to know what Karma wanted her to know. The feelings Amy had felt again for Karma since she had been back were too strong to deny...even though that made Amy feel like a bad person. Even though it would only make things more complicate. The curiosity was just too great for her to fight.

Amy downed the remains of her drink, grabbed her coat from the chair  
"Woah...what's the rush?" Shane asked.  
"I'm sorry...I...this...this really helped me...I've just got to find out what's in those letters." Amy kissed Shane goodbye and then started running home.

Amy burst through the front door to find her mum was home. Amy realised that she was a little bit tipsy now and tried her best to act sober.

"There's my girl!" Her mum cried out as she walked over and hugged her.  
"Hey mum" Amy replied  
"Why don't you look lovely. What have you been up to?" Her mum asked  
"Oh you know..catching up. I just met Shane."  
"Listen sweet I am so sorry I wasn't able to pick you up last night. Did you get a taxi?"  
"Err actually I got a lift. Off Karma!"  
"Karma! Well how did that go? How is she holding up?" Her mum asked with concern.  
"Not great to be honest. She's in a bit of a messy place right now."  
"Well I'm sure she's happier for having you back".  
Amy answered the question silently "well that's what I'm trying find out!"  
"I guess" Amy answered out loud.  
"Well I think it's lovely that you came back to support Karma."  
Amy smiled weakly as she listened to her mum talk. "I know her parents were a bit alternative, but it's such a tragedy"  
"I know" Amy replied.  
"Mum do we still have that old CD player?" Amy asked out of the blue  
"What? Ummm Well I guess. I think it must be in the garage somewhere."  
"Great" Amy replied as she headed out the room  
"Dinner will be in a couple of hours" her mum shouted out towards Amy.  
"I'm not hungry" Amy cried back as the door closed behind her.  
After 20 minutes of searching she finally found what she was looking for. Heading back upstairs, she stopped via the kitchen and poured herself another glass of wine.

Amy plugged in the CD player and then sorted then started opening the envelops.

There were birthday cards, Christmas cards for the past five years. There were photos of the two of them over the years that Karma had made into postcards. There was even one of the two of them dancing to Paula Abdul at her mums wedding. Amy had never seen that photo before. She ran her finger over Karma and the tears started to form.

In each card and on the back of the photos were the same words: **To my darling Amy. You are me. All my love Karma x**

Amy picked up the CD as she opened the cover a folded piece of paper fell out. Amy unfolded the paper and read the opening line.

_Dear Amy. If you are reading this, then it means something has happened that has finally given me the courage to tell the truth..._


	12. Chapter 12

**Feel slightly nervous posting this chapter...as this is the chapter where Karma tells Amy how she feels (according to my fanfiction). I've also tried to do it in a Karma way...and tried to write a song. Sorry of it's rubbish. I'm still very new to writing.**  
**As ever, I'd love you know what you think. **

Amy's hands were shaking as she continued reading the letter...

_It's four years to the day from when you told me you loved me at your mums wedding. That was the worse night of my life because after you said those words...everything changed._

_I loved you so much and as I stood there listening to you tell me that you were attracted to me, I literally felt the world shift from beneath my feet._

_You see at that very moment I wanted to say the words back to you...I wanted to pull you into my arms and tell you that I felt exactly the same way. You knew I did didn't you? You were pushing me. Pushing me to be honest._

_The problem is Amy Raudenfeld, I'm not as brave as you. I'm not good when I'm faced with big decisions. Big situations. And what bigger a situation is there than admitting that you also have feelings for best friend. Your best friend who just happens to be a girl._

_I'm so ashamed writing this now. It seems so silly seeing these words on paper now...four years on, but back there in your bedroom... the 15 year old Karma was so fucking scared of what those feeling meant. I panicked Amy._

_I made a gut decision there and then, to deny any feelings I had for you._

_Standing there In your room...I didn't want to be gay. I was in love with Liam. I wasn't gay. Sure I loved you..but those feelings..those feelings I had for you..they weren't 'right'. _

_They weren't what I wanted to feel. I wanted to be with Liam and have kids and a perfect house and you as my best friend. My best friend forever._

_For someone with such unconventional parents all I wanted to do was fit in. I just wanted to be 'normal'. Whatever normal looks like! Being gay wasn't an option I was willing to consider. So I lied._

_I lied to you Amy when I said that I didn't love you the way you wanted me to._

_I lied then...and I've been lying ever since. Every day. Every day is a lie._

_I love you Amy Raudenfeld. You are me x_

Tears were falling down Amys cheeks as she finished reading the letter. She place the disk in the CD player and pressed play.

A guitar started strumming and then Amy heard Karma's voice start singing. Amy's mouth dropped open when she realised Karma was singing a song for her.

**Look at me dear friend for there is something I need to say...**

**Something you must hear.**  
**You're not here. Have to find another way...**

**Find another way to let you know..**  
**Let you know what a mess I made.**

**Lost you long time ago.**  
**Lost you because of me.**  
**Because of who I am**  
**Who I tried to be**

**Scared of being different.**  
**Scared of standing out.**  
**Scared of these feelings coming true.**

**Easier to run.**  
**Easier to hide.**  
**Hide these feelings deep inside.**  
**Easier to just pretend.**  
**Pretend that I don't feel the same.**  
**That I don't want you the way I want you.**

**I'm not fighting you.**  
**I'm not fighting you.**  
**I'm fighting me.**  
**Fighting me. Fighting me.**

**I'm not hating you.**  
**I'm not hating you.**  
**I'm hating me.**

**I'm not hating you..I'm hating me.**  
**Hating me for losing you**  
**You were me**  
**You were me**  
**Now there's no me**

**Too long to figure this out.**  
**Took a long time to see.**  
**Hope it's not too long.**  
**Say it's not too long.**  
**Please say it's not too long.**

******Let me know what you think? Should Amy risk it?**


	13. Chapter 13

**Bit of a long chapter this one...but a lot needed to be said. Would love to know what you think afterwards. If you were Amy would this be enough for you?**

As Amy sat there on the floor tears rolling down her cheeks she really couldn't believe this was happening. Karma loved her after all! What the FUCK! Why did she wait all this time?

Amy read the letter again 'I lied to you Amy when I said I didn't love you the way you wanted me to.' Amy's heart was beating so fast. ' I lied then and I've been lying ever since. Every day. Every day is a lie'Amy felt a smile spread across her face as she read the last few words 'I love you Amy Raudenfeld.'

Amy seriously wanted to scream. This was all she had ever wanted back then. She had wanted Karma to admit the she loved her, felt the same way she did when they kissed. Wanted to spend all their time together. No one else was as important to Amy back then as Karma.

As happy as Amy felt, she was also really pissed that Karma had only just admitted this to her. If you love someone, like Karma claims to with Amy, you don't wait five years without telling! You don't stop talking to them. You don't throw them away like a disposable cup. Not if you REALLY cared about them. Amy grabbed her phone, Karma's letter and song had raised so many new questions in Amy's head that she had to see her. Had to get the truth from Karma. Why didn't she read the letter Amy sent her? Why did she allow five years of their lives to go past.

Amy dialed Karma's number and waited nervously for her to pick up.

"WOAHHHHH" Amy said said when she heard the phone connect

"I know!" Karma responded. "We...umm probably need to talk right?" Karma asked nervously. If Amy was nervous then Karma was 10 times worse. She had just confessed to being in love with her former best friend who she hadn't seen for five years.

"Yeah..." Amy replied "...we definitely need to talk. Can you come over?" "I have some family friends here at the moment. Karma replied. Her voice quaking with emotion. Amy could tell Karma like herself been crying."I can maybe get away in an hour or so, would that be OK?"

Amy had totally forgotten the fact that Karma was burying her parents tomorrow. "Oh god.. I'm sorry Karma. You must be crazy busy with the funeral and everything. This...this can wait.." As Amy said the words she didn't really mean it, but kinda thought it was the right thing to say.

"No!" Karma responded forcefully. "This has waited long enough Amy. I need to see you..." Amy swallowed hard hearing the need in Karma's voice and words. "I'll be there as soon as I can OK?"

"OK." Amy paused before adding " Karma..?"

"Yup?" Amy's heart was beating out of her chest but she couldn't not say it

"...I love you".

Karma's smile could be felt down the phone "I love you Amy".

Amy sat there motionless on the bedroom floor as she contemplated the need she had felt to tell Karma that she loved her. What did it all mean? Amy knew she did still have feelings for Karma, but she wasn't sure if they were enough. A lot of time had gone past. Karma had allowed a lot of time to go past. Was it too late? could they go back to how things were? Amy wasn't sure, and it would depend on what Karma said to her. Amy needed to know exactly how Karma was feeling and what she wanted.

The hour dragged so much. Amy had popped down to tell her mum that Karma was coming over as that they had some stuff to sort out. Karma's mum had tried to convince her the two of them should join her for dinner, but Amy was really not hungry at all! Instead she jumped in the shower and washed her hair. The water felt great in her shoulders which felt tight with tension. Amy then changed into three different outfits! She laughed at herself for being so ridiculous and for feeling like a teenager again. As Amy waited downstairs with her mum she felt the butterflies inside her stomach get bigger and faster by the minute.

Finally the door bell rang and Amy practically sprinted to the door. As she opened it, and saw Karma standing there, she felt like she couldn't breath.

"Hi" Karma said smiling her perfect smile at Amy who felt a wave of desire flood through her.

"Hi" Amy smiled back. The two of the stood staring at each other for longer than normal. It was only Amy's mum shouting from the living room that brought Amy to her senses.

"I'm sorry...Umm..come in"

"Thanks" Karma smiled again as she followed Amy into the house. The house that she had spent so much of her childhood in, but none of her adult life until now. After a brief conversation with Amy's mum the two of them made their excuses and heading upstairs, Karma following Amy into her bedroom.

Amy closed the door and leant back on it. Karma walked over to the bed and turned so they were facing each other. The tension filled the room instantly and Amy had to stay strong to resist the very strong desire she was feeling to rush over to where Karma was standing and kiss her. Taking a deep breath Amy decided distance was the best thing here and stayed by the door.

"Soooo..." Karma started, I guess you've read everything?" She said noticing the cards and the cd player. "This..umm this is all really fucking weird right?"

"REALLY WEIRD!" Amy agreed. "Karm...why the FUCK didn't you tell me?" Amy felt the tears start to form in her eyes. "Why the fucking hell did you wait SO long". Amy said the angry and frustration she was feeling was bubbling to the surface.

"Is it too late?" Karma asked.

Amy sighed "Yes..." paused and then added "...No..." Another pause "I honestly don't know karma... I mean I have a fucking girlfriend who is great and I love her and I live in New York and it's been five FUCKING YEARS!"

"I know!" Karma begged" believe me if I could change it I would. If...if I could turn back time I would. I so wish I could. I wish it was five years ago...I wish it was that night your mum got married I wish I came up here to find you...and I so very much wish I had told you the truth...told you how I really felt."

"Why didn't you Karma" Amy asked exasperated at what she was hearing.

"Because I was SO fucking scared. Scared of how you were making me feel. Scared how much you meant to me. Scared...scared of being gay!" Karma looked away as she said the word, unable to look at Amy.

"And by the looks of it you still are!" Amy said in response to Karma's reaction.

Karma shook her head to show Amy that she was wrong. "No..no I'm not. Not with you. With you I know completely what I want..who I want..." Karma added.

"It's just that I know I'm in love with you...I just haven't felt these feelings for anyone else male or female and I...I don't know what that makes me...? I just know that you are ALL I want."

Karma walked over and reached down and took Amy's hand in hers and continued "I wasn't as brave as you Amy. I couldn't deal with it back then. I couldn't deal with being 'different'."

Amy's heart was beating as she stood staring at Karma. Her hand in hers. Karma continued...

"I couldn't even read your letter. If I had I would have lost my reason to hate you."

"Why did you want to hate me?" Amy asked with tears in her eyes.

"When I found out that you had slept with Liam I hated you so much. I was so confused. I was struggling to deal with these feelings I had for you, and then..then I found out what had happened and I felt completely betrayed. Why would you do that if you loved me the way you claimed to?"

Amy interrupted "well if you'd had read my letter you would have understood why!" Amy snapped back.

"I know" karma responded. "I guess I was embarrassed of what had happened and it made me angry. I turned into a total bitch. It was the excuse I needed to forget about the way I felt about you. I blamed you because I was hurt, but mainly because it gave me a way out."

Karma paused and looked Amy in the eyes "does that make any sense? I hate myself for it, but that was why I did it."

Amy felt sad listening to Karma speak. How she was so scared of what she was feeling that she was prepared to end their friendship. "And what about Liam?" Amy asked

"I forgave Liam. He was always trying to make up for what happened and and we tried to have a relationship...but I think he knew deep down. I think he knew that I wasn't happy...that he was a substitute. Everyone will always be a substitute to you. You knew me better than I knew myself"

Amy swallowed hard, fighting back the tears "Karma...this is too much. I...I don't understand how you can have been in love with me for all these years and have not said anything! How you tossed me aside like our friendship meant nothing to you.."

"It meant the WORLD to me!" Karma interrupted before adding

"Amy I get that what I'm saying isn't easy to understand. I...I don't even understand it myself...I mean...I made such a fucking mess of the situation. I lost my best friend because I was scared. Scared of being in love with her. I...I'm not scared anymore.. I know now that you are the one person that will fill this hole inside me...the hole I made when I lied to you about how I felt. I...I massively fucked up. I know that. I know that you have every right to hate me, but I just really needed you to know why I did what I did. Why I said what I said that night..and why I've regretted it ever since"

The tears were flowing down Karma's cheeks and Amy felt overwhelmed by Karma's words. Her head was spinning trying to take it all in. To make sense of it all. Amy moved her hand up to Karma's cheek and gentle brushed away a tear. The touch of Karma's soft skin was electrifying to Amy. Her heart was beating so fast. She felt Karma's arms slip around her waist and she allowed herself to be pulled in by Karma. Amy wrapped her arms around Karma's body as the two of them stood there hugging each other, Amy felt her own tears still to fall as she held Karma tightly.

Karma whispered "I know it's taken me too long...I know I'm missed my chance and that you've long moved on...but I just really needed you to know why I did what I did..."

Amy didn't respond. She couldn't. The tears were too strong. Her mind and heart were racing so fast as she breathed in Karma's sent. She felt Karma's hand move from her back and stoke her hair. Amy was falling again...

She pulled away and wiped her cheeks with her sleeve, trying to compose herself.

"Karma...I get why you did what you did...I hate you for it...but I think you hate yourself more.."

Amy paused and saw the acknowledgement that she was right written all over Karma face.

"I did move on. I moved on a long time ago...but..." Amy felt sick to the stomach "but I meant what I said earlier...I do love you...and I...I don't know what is going to happen...but right now...I know that with every heartbeat...I'm falling back in love with you...and...and" Amy paused "I honestly don't know if that's such a good idea!"

Amy could see that Karma was disappointed, but she nodded in acceptance "Amy I understand..I understand why you would doubt this...but I promise...if you give me a chance..I'll prove it to you..I'll prove it to you how much I love you..."

Karma reached her hand up and gently ran her finger over Amy's lips. Amy felt her heart stop beating at the touch and a wave of desire flood between her legs.

"Karma...don't" Amy said weakly, not convincing anyone.

"I won't..." Karma replied as she pulled her hand away, to the disappointment of Amy "...but I want to SO much Amy...I want YOU so much it's an ache inside me that won't go away...that hasn't gone away for the past five years.."

Amy closed her eyes as she remembered how she used have that very same feeling. How she had only ever had that feeling with Karma.

Right then, Amy wanted Karma so much. She wanted karma to ignore everything Amy had just said about not being sure...she wanted her to pull her into her arms and kiss her. To finally touch her the way that she had longed to touch her...longed to be touched. She didn't know what would happen long term...but she wasn't thinking long term right then...she was just thinking of the there and then and how she was so turned on and how much she wanted to touch Karma.

Amy opened her eyes and saw Karma staring at her with such longing in her eyes. Amy slowly leant in close, so she could feel Karma's breath on her skin, the two of them not breaking eye contact as they gauged each other's thoughts and desires.

"AMY!" Amy's mum shouted upstairs breaking the spell

"Fuuuuuck" Karma said as they pulled apart and she collapsed on Amy's bed letting out a groan of frustration.

"I'm kinda busy mum" Amy shouted back downstairs as she smiled at Karma who was laughing at the situation. They had almost kissed. They had been so close...Amy felt frustrated but also slightly relieved that the spell had been broken before she had done something she had regretted.

Amy flopped down on the bed beside Karma and enjoyed the funny side of the situation.

"AMY!" Amy's mum called again

Amy groaned and jumped off the bed heading towards the door.

She opened it and headed towards the landing

"Mum...what is it? I said I was busy.."

Amy's mum appeared at the bottom of the stairs "Amy dear you have a visitor"

Amy watched in total surprise as Kate walked toward the bottom of the stairs and stood beside Amy's mum.

"Hey!"


	14. Chapter 14

**SO...I'm sure it was no surprise to anyone that Kate was standing at the bottom of the stairs. Her arrival is going to really put Amy under some pressure to work out what..or really who she wants. This is a bit of a bridging chapter. I've had a few reviews which are up for Karmy &amp; Amy and a couple that really don't want Amy to go back to Karma and want me to carry on the Kate and Amy story. I'm sort if this story isn't going in the direction you had hoped, but I hope you'll stick by it until the end.**

**Enjoy the show those of you in the States. Will have to wait until tomorrow to try and watch it online.**

Amy looked down in disbelief. She couldn't believe that Kate was standing in HER house...next to her mum! She genuinely felt excited and despite what had nearly happened in her bedroom she was happy to see Kate...or maybe it was BECAUSE of what had nearly happened that she was so happy. "oh my god Kate...what the fuck are you doing here?" Amy said happily as she ran down the stairs.

"Amy! No swearing!" Amy's mum said  
"Sorry mum!" Amy replied without really meaning it. Amy planted her lips on Kate's and the two girlfriends embraced.  
Amy's mum turned away and pretended to busy herself whilst her daughter made out. They were still hugging when Amy heard a floorboard on the landing creak and Amy realised Karma was there. Looking down.  
Fuck! Now this WAS awkward. Amy pulled away from Kate "ummm Kate this is Karma. We were just... talking"  
"Karma...this is Kate...my umm girlfriend".  
Amy didn't know if it was the sight of them kissing or the word girlfriend, but Amy could see the hurt Karma was feeling at that instant. Karma cleared her throat and started making her way down the stairs, unable to look at Amy.  
"Hi Kate." Karma said the chirpiest voice she could manage "it's nice to meet you." The act continued "umm I'd better be going.."

"Won't you stay for some dinner?" Amy's mum asked helpfully. Amy at that point could have killed her mother. Really mother. You have no idea! The last thing Amy needed was to have to have dinner with her girlfriend and her first love who she had just confessed to still having feeling for and very nearly kissed.  
Karma finally looked at Amy and saw the panic in her eyes. Karma recognised all the signs. Much to Amy's relief she declined the invitation. "That's very kind of you, but I'll leave these two lovebirds to catch up.." Ouch Amy thought. That hurt.  
"Besides..." Karma added "I should probably get an early night before tomorrow."

Karma said her goodbyes and left the house. Leaving Amy slightly winded. Kate was standing beside her clearly waiting for Amy to react and Amy's mum was so oblivious to it all.

"So Kate... It is SO nice to finally meet you...you must be hungry right? Come on let's all sit down and have a glass of wine and some  
dinner".  
"That would be great" Kate replied, obviously in an attempt to make a good impression with her.

Amy headed towards the kitchen shouting over her shoulder "I'll get the wine". Once alone in the kitchen Amy let out a massive sigh.  
"Shit!" She said under her breath. She couldn't believe the situation she was in. She felt sick that she had SO very nearly kissed Karma. Couldn't believe how much at that precise moment she had wanted to. And now she was hiding in the kitchen. Fucking hiding from her girlfriend and her mum like a complete idiot. Amy took a deep breath and told herself to pull it together.

She splashed some water on her still somewhat tear stained, puffy face and then wiped it with a towel before telling herself to pull her shit together. She reached up and grabbed three wine glasses and a bottle of red wine before making her way back out to where Kate and her mum were sitting.

Kate looked over at Amy as she walked back into the room, the concern clearly visible on her face. Amy smiled back in an attempt to reassure her that, despite how things might look, she was OK. She opened the wine and poured three glasses and handed them out.

"I'm sorry to arrive unannounced" Kate said to Amy mum "I just really wanted to surprise Amy"

"And you certainly did that!" Amy replied

"In a good way I hope!" Kate answered

"Of course babe" Amy said as she leant in for a kiss on the cheek. "cheers" She said raising her glass.

"I wasn't interrupting anything there was I? With you and Karma. You both looked pretty upset" Kate asked

"No...not at all. It's just an emotional time right now...what with the funeral and everything!" Amy lied. Then thinking back to the moment when she had almost kissed Karma. Shit, she could't believe how close she had been, and then remembered that all of Karma's cards and photos were scattered over the bed"

"Listen..." I'm a bit chilly. I'm just popping upstairs to grab a sweater. I'll take your bags up as well" Amy said as she got up to her feet and picked up Kates suitcase. She carried it upstairs and then once the door was shut quickly swept all of the cards and photos back into the brown envelop and then quickly threw it under the bed. Before heading back downstairs.

"Where'e your jumper Amy dear?" her mum asked.

Shit! She had forgotten her own lie as to why she had needed to go upstairs. Amy concluded she was a rubbish liar.

"Oh I changed my mind" Amy lied again.

"Well it really isn't cold in here Amy" her mum added "I do hope you are not sickening".

Amy smiled over at her mum.. it was weird being round her, having her fuss over her. She knew it wouldn't last long, but clearly Amy being way at college had made her mum all of sudden be more..mum like!

"I'm fine thanks mum." Amy smiled over at Kate who was watching her intently.

"Soooo what's for dinner. All of a sudden I'm starving!" Amy said in an attempt to take the attention off her.]

"Oh nothing fancy. Just your favourite... chicken"

WOW - Amy's mum was even cooking her favourite dinner...she must have really missed her!

Over dinner the three of them discussed the TV station and Amy and Kate told stories about New York.

"We're actually thinking about moving into together next term aren't we babe?"Kate said catching Amy off guard.

She took a swig of wine and mumbled a reply "sure".

"Well won't that be nice" Amy's mum smiled and Amy could tell that she was acting and that maybe she wasn't as 'cool' with it as she was pretending to be in front of Kate. Amy found it funny that they were both putting on an act. Kate hadn't sworn once the whole time she had been there. That had to be a first!

Amy went to the kitchen to get another bottle of wine. As she was heading back she felt her phone in her pocket buzz. Pulling out the phone she stopped in her tracks when she saw Karma's name on the screen.

Looking up at Kate she saw that they had now moved to the sofa and Amy's mum had the photo album out. Amy would have normally died at this point, but she was too concerned by Karma's text message.

'I get I was too late. I get I missed my chance. You know where I am if you ever find yourself not wanting to stop yourself next time x'.


	15. Chapter 15

**Wow...so this chapter was really hard for me to write. I must have started it at least 10 times! I think Kate arriving has really confused Amy...and me (and I writing the story!). Anyway, I finally finished with the end I wanted. **

Amy read Karma's message and asked herself the same question WAS she too late? Back in her room, just a few moments ago it hadn't felt that way, but seeing Kate it reminded Amy about her life in New York. Reminded her about her life with Kate.

The emotions Amy felt around Karma scared her. She didn't trust herself around her. Seeing her again had made all these feelings bubble to the surface and Amy was really struggling to find a solution to the problem. The problem being she had a girlfriend, yet she had so very wanted to kiss Karma. To be kissed by Karma. To feel those lips on hers after all these years. To have sex with Karma like she had spent so many nights fantasising about when she was younger.

Amy hated this. Hated having these feelings for Karma because she shouldn't be. She had a girlfriend! A girlfriend who at that very moment was sat in the next room with her mum.

Amy read the message once more and then deleted it. If she ignored it...maybe it would go away. Maybe the feelings Amy had been having towards Karma since she had been home would vanish and everything could go back to how they were before she had played Karma's voicemail. Before her confession. Before the moment Amy had nearly kissed her.

That's what Amy needed to do. She needed to put some space between her and Karma and then she would stop thinking about her. She just needed to get through the funeral and then she could go back to how things were.

Amy put her phone away and headed back over to the living room where her mum and Kate were now located.  
"You OK?" Kate asked as she watched Amy. Amy knew she was probably acting a bit weird  
"Absolutely" Amy replied chirpily, but she knew from Kate's glance that she had convinced her.

Amy's mum announced that she had an early start tomorrow and after saying goodnight left Amy and Kate alone.

Amy poured herself another glass of wine.  
"Woah..." Kate said "someone is thirsty!"  
Amy knew Kate was probably right, but she didn't care. She needed the drink to calm her nerves.  
"Yeah well ummmm the last couple of days have been a bit..."  
"A bit what?" Kate asked suspiciously.  
"...a bit full on." Amy replied.  
"How so?"  
Amy paused before answering. She wondered how much to actually confess.

She played the conversation in her head:  
"Well since I've been back Karma has told me she lied the night I told her I loved her and has basically been lying ever since. She told me she loved me, has always loved me, but was too scared to say anything as she didn't want to be gay or 'different'. She kissed me, but it's OK..I pushed her away. But then I got angry at her for ruining our friendship...we both cried...she wrote a song for me and I told her that I thought I was falling back in love with her. To top it all off, right before you arrived...I nearly kissed her!

Hmmmm maybe not.

Amy settled for "It's just been a bit harder than I thought it would be." She paused "you know...Karma has been really upset. She..she hasn't been dealing with it well...she needs help. She needs to see someone who can help her deal with her feelings." Amy hoped Kate would buy her reason.

"Jeez...it must be really hard to understand..to lose both your parents." Kate said "she umm must be happy to have you here"  
"I guess." Amy replied "Welllll.."Amy changed the subject..."I'm happy to have you here" Amy said as she reached down and picked Kate's hand up.  
Kate smiled "Well I'm really pleased to be here too."  
"How long are you staying?  
"Well I guess that's up to you. I was kinda thinking that maybe I could whisk you away for a couple of days...after the funeral and all that."  
"Wow...that..that sounds great!" Amy replied, not 100% convincing.  
"Hmmm well you could sound a little more happy about it!" Kate replied back, clearly disappointed with Amy's lack of enthusiasm.

Amy felt really bad. She didn't want to be a bad girlfriend, but she had lied to Kate. She needed to start making an effort...to start being a better girlfriend and stop thinking about someone else. A few days away with Kate would maybe be just wanted she needed to get things back on track.  
"I'm sorry" Amy apologised. "A trip away sounds amazing. I think I'm just a bit drained and maybe a early night is required".

"It feels a bit weird being in your bedroom" Kate said when they had finished their drinks and headed upstairs.  
"Weird how?" Amy asked  
"Oh I don't know...just funny that this is where you spent your childhood."  
"I guess it's a bit weird having my New York life meet my Texas life" Amy said agreeing with Kate a bit  
"I'm mean they are pretty different" she added.  
Kate pulled Amy into her arms "and so which one do you prefer?" She asked as she placed her lips on Amy's.  
Amy tried to enjoy the kiss, but she couldn't it felt strange to be kissing Kate in her bedroom so soon after nearly kissing Karma. Amy wriggled out of Kate's arms  
"Hey I was enjoying that!" Kate pleaded as she pulled a sad face  
"I know you were...but need I remind you that you were just this morning put on a sex ban!" Amy joked. Although she was secretly pleased to have a excuse to pull out of the kiss. She was also aware that she hadn't actually answered Kate's question.

"You're kidding right?" Kate asked exasperatedly  
"Nope!" Amy said as she walked pulled off her top and started undoing her jeans.  
"Your behaviour this morning was not acceptable..." Amy continued not missing the irony of what she was saying.  
Kate moved towards Amy who was now just standing in her bra and pants. Kate smiled and trying to pull Amy in for a kiss.  
"Oh come on babe...don't do this to me...I flew all this way to surprise you and your seriously going to put me on a sex ban?" Kate groaned "and how evil of you to stand there looking so fucking sexy as you tell me the bad news!"  
Amy laughed at Kate's words."well you need to be taught a lesson." Amy pointed to the bathroom "maybe you should take a cold shower!"  
"Orrrrr maybe you should give me a chance to make it up to you!" Kate said in a way that she knew Amy would find it hard to resist.  
Amy walked over and planted a kiss on Kate's mouth and conceded slightly "Hmmm well I think it's going to a lot of making up."  
"I'm happy with that!" Kate replied. "Let me just go brush my teeth OK?" Kate pulled out her wash bag from her suitcase and headed to the bathroom.  
Amy flopped down onto her bed. What was she doing? Why was she fighting the advances of her girlfriend? Why couldn't she just go with the flow...enjoy the moment?

Just then Amy felt the bed buzz as Kate's phone when she had thrown on the bed singled a message. Amy looked over and saw on the screen Shane's name displayed and the first sentence...  
'What happened? Did you get there in time? Did you stop them?'


	16. Chapter 16

Shiiiiiiiit Amy thought as she read the text message. Shane and Kate were on cahoots! What the fuck!  
Shane must have rang Kate after Amy had seen him and she had jumped on the first flight from New York.

Amy felt totally betrayed by Shane and a bit angry at Kate for scheming with him. Had Shane told Kate everything she had said to him in the bar? About Karma kissing her...about the letters?

Amy was deep in thought when the bathroom door opened and Kate emerged in just her underwear. "Now.." She said with a sexy smile on her face "...how can I possibly start making it up to you?" She said as she walked towards the bed where Amy was sat in shock.  
"Well..." Amy snapped back "...you can start off by telling me exactly what Shane said to you?" Amy said angrily.  
Kate was caught off guard, but was quick to play dumb "Shane? I...I don't know what you mean?"  
"Don't lie Kate!" Amy shouted a little louder than necessary but she couldn't help herself "he just sent you a message and it came up on the screen." Amy paused to watched Kate's face react as she realised Amy knew more than she had hoped and so there was no point in lying.

"He..." Amy continued "...is DYING to know if you got here in time...if you stopped US!"  
"Amy..listen to me..." Kate said as she walked towards the bed, towards Amy. "I know you are probably angry, but Shane was only trying to help..." Kate looked Amy directly in the eyes and said "So now you know...tell me...did I stop it?" Kate asked accusingly which irritated Amy, even though she had every right to ask. Every right to know the answer.  
"For fucks sake Kate" Amy said jumping off the bed, she turned angrily to look at Kate "WHAT exactly is it you and Shane think you are stopping?"  
"You know EXACTLY what I'm trying to stop..." Kate snapped back "YOU...falling back in love with Karma-fucking-Ashcroft. Poor little Karma" Kate said with venom "I mean it's sad about her parents dying, but that doesn't fucking give her a right to kiss MY girlfriend!" Kate was shouting herself now. Amy didn't say anything. She looked away from Kate.  
"Amy..." Kate continued "you didn't kiss her back did you?" Kate's voice broke with emotion.

Amy turned and looked at Kate and both of them were near to tears. Amy couldn't speak. She just shook her head and Kate let out a huge sigh of relief and pulled Amy into her arms.  
Amy didn't know what to do. She hadn't kissed Karma, but that was more to do with her mum than her resolve. She hated lying to Kate, but her feelings were all muddled up and what she was doing wasn't fair to Kate.

Right there and then she decided she couldn't keep pretending it would go away. she needed to work out what the feelings she had been having actually meant...what they might mean for the future.  
As Amy clung onto Kate she made a decision that she had to face up to the doubts she had been having, regardless of the consequences.

"I didn't kiss Karma...but I nearly did" Amy mumbled "Kate...I nearly fucking kissed her...and that...that's not right." Tears were falling down her cheeks now.  
Kate pulled back and looked at Amy who looked so distraught.  
"It's OK...it's OK Amy... You were just confused...it's OK. We can fix this" Kate said as she tried and calm Amy down. Tried to stop Amy saying what she feared was coming next. It didn't work! Amy had made her mind up.  
"It's NOT OK.." Amy replied "it's fucked up...I'm fucked up.."Amy tapped her head "my brain is all fucked up...I needed to work out what is going on up here"  
"What...what exactly are you saying?" Kate asked

"I...don't know.." Amy admitted. "I guess I'm saying I need some time out...I need to work out what I really feel...and I know that fucking sucks for you...I know you have done nothing wrong...but it's not all Karma's fault.."  
Kate stood up and reached down on the floor to where her jeans were "it's TOTALLY her fault!" She shouted as she hastily got dressed "everything was fine before you came back here...everything was just fucking fine...and now it's not. How the CRAP is that not HER fault?" Kate pulled on her jumper and searched the floor for her sock.

Amy's heart was beating so fast. She really hated arguing, but she had to be honest with herself. If things had really been as good as Kate said they were then there is no way Amy would have been tempted to kiss Karma. No way on earth. But she had been so tempted...and that thought wasn't going away.  
Amy knew she was being a bitch expecting Kate to understand how she was feeling, when she wasn't even sure herself! All she knew was that she wasn't being a good girlfriend and Kate didn't deserve to be messed around.

"Kate...please sit down for a second..." Amy pleaded.  
"Why?" Kate snapped back "so you can tell me all about how confused you are? How you love me...but love Karma too?" Kate had successfully found her sock and was now pulling on her boots.  
"Kate listen..I'm not saying it's over between us..." Amy started saying, but Kate didn't give her a chance to finish  
"NO!" Kate shouted "No you're fucking not! But I AM Amy."

The tears were now falling down Kate's face. "I'm telling you that I'm not going to sit here whilst you work out what...or rather...who you want..."

"I'm not expect..." Again Amy was interrupted  
"That's exactly what you are expecting.." Kate jumped in " I knew something had happened when I saw the way she looked at you earlier. She's such a fucking bitch. Why couldn't she have just left you alone?" Kate spat angrily.

"Kate...I'm to blame as well. This isn't all Karma's fault!" Amy shouted  
"OK" Kate snapped back sarcastically "so you are both bitches. Does that make you feel better?"  
"No of course it doesn't...I just wish I could undo all this...wish none of this had ever happened...but I can't. I can't lie about what I feel..."  
Kate reached down for her bag and started making for the door  
"No Amy...you are right...you can't undo this...can't undo any of it. You've made your decision...you choose her over me."  
"Kate!" Amy pleaded "where are you going?"  
Kate turned around from the door realising that she didn't actually know where she was going. She just needed to get away from Amy.

"I don't know..." And then she burst into tears and walked out the room and down the stairs.

Amy quickly pulled on a t-shirt and ran out the room after Kate. She felt awful that she had caused Kate so much pain, but she had to be true to herself. Maybe deep down Amy was just as selfish as everyone believed Karma to be. Maybe the were meant to be together. Two selfish people together. That way the would stop hurting people like Liam and Kate.

Kate was stood in the dark living room, her face lit up by her phone as Amy ran down the stairs.

"Kate..." Amy pleaded "please don't go. Please stay here. I'll sleep in the spare room."

"No thanks!" Kate snapped back. "I know where I'm not wanted."

"Jeez Kate.." Amy sighed "it's not like that...I'm just trying to be honest with you...you don't deserve to be messed about and right now I don't know what I want. I need some time to work that out" Amy paused before adding "I know I've blown this. I know that if I wake up tomorrow and realise that what I want is YOU...I know I can't have that anymore...but I had to take the risk...I can't see clearly..I need to see clearly" Amy knew she wasn't making much sense, but then nothing did right then.

Kate looked at Amy with so much hurt in her face...hurt and anger...

"Well let me makes things perfectly clear for you.." And with that she opened the front door, walked out into the night and slammed it shut.

**OOOOOOKAAAAAY - I'm really sorry if you wanted Amy &amp; Kate as I know there is a lot of Karma haters out there, but I just think the way this story has been going, it wouldn't have been possible for Amy to go back to how things were with her at Kate. Her feelings for Karma had developed too much. This was Amy's decision. Karma was prepared to leave them alone, but Amy couldn't pretend things hadn't changed. **

**In this chapter Amy didn't want to lie to Kate or be a bad girlfriend, and (speaking from my own personal experience) when you are thinking about someone else rather than your girlfriend, then that relationship isn't as healthy as you think or want it to be!**

**Sorry if this wasn't what you wanted. Hope some of you liked it though?**


	17. Chapter 17

Amy went to run out the door after Kate, but then realised she was just wearing a Tee and her underwear. "FUCK!" Amy turned and ran up the stairs straight into her mum who had woken up at all the shouting and was now standing on the landing.

"SHIIIIIIT" Amy shouted in surprise

"AMY!" her mum said in horror "No swearing now!"

Amy rolled her eyes, she really didn't have time for this "Sorry mum"

"What on Earth is going on?" Her mum asked

"Umm, listen mum…I really don't have time for this right now…Kate and I have kinda split up and she's just walked out the house..and I really need to get dressed so I can go after her" Amy explained as quickly as she could as she ducked past her mum and rushed into her bedroom.

Amy reached for her phone and dialled Kates number. It went straight to voicemail. She tried again. No joy. Pulling on some pants and sneakers Amy quickly went to run out the room only to be blocked by her mum again who was standing in the doorway with a confused look on her face.  
"MUUUUUMMMMM" Amy yelled

Her mum reached out and grabbed Amy by the arms "Amy what DO you mean you split up? What's happened? Everything seemed fine when I left you earlier"

"It was…well actually no..it wasn't... not really" Amy admitted " I..I just have to make sure she's OK?"  
"Amy…just take a deep breath OK" her mum said, still holding onto Amy's arms so her daughter was unable to move from thespot. Amy did as she was told. Closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It felt good.

"She doesn't have anywhere to go, so I have to find her mum"  
"Of course…well let me get dressed and I'll come out with you" Amy's mum offered

"No time mum…I'll explain all what happened once I find her" Amy explained as she wiggled out of her mums grasp.

"But what are you going to say?" Her mum called out after Amy

Amy stopped on the top step of the stairs and paused as she thought about the question. She realised she actually had no idea what she would say when she caught up with Kate. She knew that she had ruined things between them and that right now she was probably the last person Kate wanted to see, but she needed to make sure she was safe.

"It's Karma isn't it?" Amy's mum said suddenly.

Amy turned and faced her mum and shook her head in acknowledgement.

"Oh Amy…what have you done?" her mum said disapprovingly

"Don't mum! I already feel bad enough as it is…" Amy said as she ran down the stairs and out the front door.

Amy couldn't see her on the road. She looked left and right and tried to work out which way she would have gone. How far she could have actually have gotten in the short time since she had left? Amy lived just off a main road and so taking her chance Amy started running in that direction. After a minute or so she reached the junction with the road and again did a quick scan both ways. Nothing to the right, but just then as she turned to the left, a 100 metres ahead of her she saw the light of a taxi go out as it pulled over to the sidewalk and Kate open the door. Amy called out as loudly as she could. Kate stopped for a second. Looked up in Amy's direction, but then looked away and climbed into the cab slamming the door behind her. Amy started sprinting towards the cab as fast as she could in the hope she could catch up with it, but the cab did a U-turn and drove the opposite direction away from Amy. "FUCKKKKKKKKKKK" Amy called out as she watched the cab drive away.

Just then her phone beeped with a message. Amy pulled it out hopefully and saw Kate's name on the screen.

'I'm staying at Shanes. Please don't contact me. I meant what I said about us being over. You've made your choice!'

Amy read the message and contemplated Kates words. She really had made her choice. She didn't know exactly what that meant, but one thing was for sure, it meant the end of her friendship with Kate. Amy turned round and slowly walked home reliving the last couple of hours over and over and wishing she had handled things differently.

When she got back to the house the lights were on and as she opened the door her mum was nervously waiting on the sofa. As she turned round to look at Amy, Amy burst into tears.  
"Ohhhh my baby" Amy's mum walked over to where Amy was standing and pulled her into her arms. Amy couldn't remember the last time her mum had been supportive, but she didn't care. It felt so good.  
"Mum I fucked up big time!" Amy wailed "I mean messed up!" She corrected herself quickly.

"I'm sure it will be OK. Kate seemed like a lovely girl, I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems." She paused and then without waiting for a response she added "How about I make us some hot coco?" as she walked towards the kitchen "Everything seems so much better after a coco!"

Amy smiled to herself she wanted to say actually mum I'm 20 now and so everything feels better after some vodka…or rum…or tequila, but stopped herself. She appreciated the effort her mum was making.

Amy flopped down on the sofa and pulled out her phone. She considered texting Kate, but thought better of it. Instead she sent a message to Shane. "Are you happy now?" Amy knew it was harsh, but she was still so angry with Shane for betraying her trust. For telling Kate about Karma.

She knew why he had done it, but it wasn't his decision to make. It felt like everyone was telling her what she should be doing. What she should be feeling. It was driving her crazy. As Amy sat there on the sofa she knew that given the choice she would never have chosen to have these feelings for Karma again. She knew she had lost a good friendship with Kate, for what? A possible relationship with Karma, that might not even last a week! Why would anyone in their right mind do that? Whatever happened with Karma, Amy had HAD to end the relationship with Kate because she had realised that her feelings were the same as Kate's and that wasn't fair to… anyone!

Amy knew she hadn't handled the situation well, and right then the future scared the shit out of her. Amy had to get it right. She had to make sure she and Karma were together for the right reasons.

"Now.." Amy was interrupted from her train of thought by her mum who was heading towards her with a mug of hot chocolate "why don't you tell me everything that has happened?"

Amy let out a load groan and flopped face down on the sofa mumbling "I'm not sure I even know myself!"

"is it really over between you and Kate? I mean people say things they don't mean in the heat of the moment."

Amy sat up straight and reached for her mug "what like telling your girlfriend that you almost kissed someone else and that you REALLY wanted to." Amy looked over at her mum who remained silent, unable to think of anything positive to say back. Amy took a sip of the hot sweet drink and licked her lips "because I really did mum...and I couldn't lie to Kate. I couldn't pretend that things between us hadn't changed."

"Buuuuut are you sure Amy? Are you sure of your feelings for Karma?" Amy's mum asked. "It seems like it's all happened so quickly. Maybe you need some time on your own to think about it all." Her mum suggested.

Amy considered the advice " I know what you are saying..and maybe you are right...maybe I shouldn't rush into things...but you know when you've wanted something for so long...and then you finally get it...that's how I feel. I feel like I FINALLY got my Karma. I feel like she's finally mine...and I honestly don't know how long I can wait...before I explode!"

**What would you do if you were Amy? Would you be mad at Shane for interfering? Even though he was obviously only trying to help. Have people tried to tell you who you should be with? In the end...true love always comes good right? Right? X**


	18. Chapter 18

**I probably should have put a warning about the bad language in the chapter 17. I realised afterwards there was a lot of swearing in it, but it was a sweary kinda chapter. **

**Anyway...it's the day of the funeral. As always, if you have time leave a review as it's nice to hear what you think**.

"Ohhhh Bugger!" It was the day of the funeral and Amy woke up having massively overslept.

It was already 10.30am and the funeral started at 11 and it was a good 20 minutes away in a cab. Amy hadn't been able to sleep at all last night, the events of evening playing across her mind every time she closed her eyes. She must have eventually fallen asleep around 6 o'clock and was now super late.

Amy quickly got dressed in the outfit she had brought with her from New York. She wore a crisp white shirt and a fitted black trouser suite. With no time to wash her hair she had pulled it up into bun on the top of her head. Amy applied some minimal makeup, choosing to skip the mascara, and then called a cab as she gathered her phone and bag.

In the cab journey there Amy tried to imagine how Karma must be feeling right now. Her parents were having a non religious cremation which Amy was pleased about. Growing up she had been forced to go to Church by her mum, but since coming out she found it difficult to be somewhere where they had such black and white views about homosexuality.

As the cab pulled into the venue Amy was 10 minutes late! She paid the driver and then ran towards the entrance opening the door as quietly as she could. Luckily there was music playing and everyone was standing up facing the front. As Amy closed the door behind her she turned to face the same way and saw the two coffins positioned next to each other and felt the tears form in her eyes. It was such a powerful image. Karmas parents were REALLY dead and this was it. The last goodbye.

Amy made her way to an empty row of chairs at the very back of the room, pleased that she seemed to have not attracted any attention with her lateness. As she stood there listening to the song being played she searched through the crowd and saw Karama's bowed head down the front and Liam standing next to her, with his arm around her shoulders.

Amy was a taken aback by the sight. Paranoia started kicking in...What did it mean? Why was Liam up the front, comforting Karma? They had split up...unless they had gotten back together after Karma had seen Kate arrive on the scene and Amy had effectively told her she was too late with that kiss with Kate. Karma didn't know that things had changed between Amy and Kate...and maybe Karma had ran to Liam for comfort!

OR...Amy tried to control the crazy thoughts, maybe he was just being a good friend. Sure he was her ex-boyfriend, but he was here purely to support her. The way Amy was supposed to have been...but she had been late. What would Karma think of her not being there? Especially after having seen Kate arrive and now it appeared that Amy hadn't even bothered to show up to her parents funeral. Good work Amy scorned herself!

Once the music finished everyone sat down and Amy tried to find Shane in the crowd. She couldn't see him and wondered if he was OK...if Kate was OK. A couple of Karmas parents friends who were buddists were now standing at the front gaving a reading about life being short and how everyone owed it to themselves to live life to the full and to treat people the way you would want to be treated. Amy thought of Kate and how badly she had handled that situation and promised herself that she wouldn't ever get herself into that sort of situation again. She promised to be more honest with herself and others from now on. She had probably lost Kate as a friend, but didn't want to lose Shane too. Amy set herself a task of calling him after and talking things over. Amys thoughts were interrupted by the words "And now Karma will say a few words..."

Amy looked up and saw Karma nervously walk to the lectern at the front of the packed room. Karma's eyes searching the sea of faces. Amy needed her to see that she WAS here, so she stood up slowly and Amy saw the relief in Karma's eyes as she saw Amy. Karma looked down at the piece of paper that she was holding. Her hands clearly shaking...tear stains visible on her cheeks. Karma opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

She looked over towards Amy for support. She didn't look to Liam. She had looked at Amy and she knew what to do, how to help her friend. When they were growing up, Karma had called Amy her rock. How whenever Karma had been scared or nervous, Amy had always been there and said the right thing. Whenever Karma had a performance Amy would pretend to give her a piece of her...and piece of rock. Karma would use that piece of rock for support. This was a rock moment.

Still standing up, Amy pretended to pull a piece of rock off her arm and threw it in Karma's direction. Karma who was still standing at the front in silence, smiled as she saw what Amy was doing and reached out an arm to catch the pretend rock, still smiling over in the direction of the back of the room which caused a few people to turn round to see what was happening, including Liam. But Amy didn't care. She stood staring at Karma. The gesture said so much without any words needed to be said. Karma looked down at the imaginary rock in her hand and wiped a tear away that was rolling down her cheek. Turning to look at the place where her parents lay Karma started speaking...this time she had the strength to say the words..."my parents were different..."

Amy sat back down and watched Karma do the hardest she had ever done. "My parents were different...and they loved that. They were the odd kids at school that never got invited to the cool kids parties, were the kids that smelled of strange hippy potions and drank weird cups of tea and was way into the whole organic thing before Whole Foods were. Only Whole Foods kinda went and did it a bit better than my my mom and dad!" Karma paused a small chuckle went around the room.  
"But that's OK you know. They were totally cool with that. They were cool with it because they had each other. They were soulmates. They started going out when they were sixteen and from that moment...to the day they..."

Karma stopped momentarily took a deep breath and continued "...to the day they died they loved and supported each other 100%. They were always there for each other, even when sometimes maybe they shouldn't have been. Like the time my dad ran the Austin Marathon dressed as a egg, organic of course, to raise awareness of free range chickens. Do you know how hard it is to run a marathon dressed as an egg?  
I think I was maybe 6 and I remember we stood there for hours waiting at the finish line. Everyone else had finished hours before and then over the horizon, we saw him finally bobbling down the road. My mum was so proud of him. I...I well I was probably more embarrassed. The local newspaper took our photo which led to days of egg jokes!"

Amy remembered that day and how embarrassed Karma had been about it all. Amy knew that in the whole room she was probably the only one there that knew that. That knew how Karma had felt that day. Karma looked in her direction and gave Amy a small smile to acknowledge that.

"Anyway...the thing is my parents didn't care about not fitting in with the norm...I on the other hand...well I just really wanted to be normal...whatever that is." Amy watched as Karma looked over in Liam's direction, before she continued "...but my parents were right...they WERE different and unique and I realise that it's OK to be different...in fact...sometimes it's amazing to be different."

Karma turned and faced the coffins where her parents rested " . If you can hear me..I get it now. I get everything you did and why. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate it more. I'm sorry I wasn't as kind as you were. I promise I'll try...I'm going to be more like you...less afraid...and I'm going to be different. I AM different..." Amy felt the hairs on her skin stand up as Karma looked directly at her "...I hope I get to be different with MY soulmate." Karma cleared her throat and finished by saying "I love you both so much"


	19. Chapter 19

**Thanks to Clonedanceparty for the suggestion of a road trip to get Amy and Karma doing something fun together where they can start to get to know each other again.  
**

After the funeral was over people went to a wake where there was food and drink and everyone walked around making polite chitchat. Amy watched as Liam barely left Karma's side the whole time. Every time Amy went to try and walk over and talk to Karma, someone would always get there first.

Amy decided to step outside and try and speak to Shane. She dialled his number and it went straight to voicemail. She was just about to try again when she was interrupted "Hey...there you are! I've been looking for you." Karma said as she walked towards where Amy was sitting.

"Hey. How...how are you doing?" Amy asked, trying her best to keep her heart beat under control.  
"Oh you know...I've been better!" Karma replied as she reached the wall Amy was sat on. "Mind if I join you"  
"Sure!" Amy replied shuffling along to give Karma enough space.  
Karma sat down next to Amy but kept her distance, much to Amy's relief.  
"I...just wanted to say thanks so much for coming Amy." Karma paused before adding "It...it meant the world to me that you were there."  
Amy thought back to Karma's speech about being different...about wanting to spend the rest of her life with her soulmate.

"Karma...your speech was just amazing...I mean your parents would have been so proud."  
Karma turned and looked over at Amy "Thanks. I hope so. I know I wasn't the nicest to them when they were around...you know gave them a hard time for being such hippies, but I did really love them...STILL really love them."  
"Of course you did...and they knew that Karms. And everyone back there in the room knew that too. OK?" Amy said supportively  
Karma smiled weakly "Thanks. And I couldn't have done it without the Amy Rock."  
Amy let out a little laugh "Was pleased to see it hadn't lost it's power"  
"Never!" Karma replied, holding Amy's gaze a little longer than Amy found comfortable.

Amy changed the subject "Ummm I didn't see Shane...have you heard from him? We umm kind of had a fight." Amy didn't go into the details.  
"I kinda knew that." Karma admitted much to Amy's surprise "he sent Liam a text" Karma added answering Amy's question before she had even asked it.  
"Ahhh" Amy said, wondering how much Shane had told Liam...and in turn how much Liam had told Karma. Did Karma know Amy and Kate had split up?  
"He umm just said that he didn't think it was such a good idea for him to come to the funeral as he didn't want to cause a scene."

Amy felt bad. She should try and call him again and make it up.

"What happened?" Karma asked  
Shit! Amy thought...so she didn't know. God...what to say? Amy remembered the promise she had made during the service about being more honest with herself... this was a classic scenario.  
"Ummm well it's a bit of a long story...I told him somethings and he went behind my back and told Kate"  
"Kate!" Karma said in surprise  
"Yeap...and now...well now Kate and I are no more!" Amy said biting the bullet. There...it was out in the open.

Karma turned and faced Amy in surprise "You've split up!"  
"Yeap and she stayed at Shanes last night. I..I haven't spoken to them since." Amy admitted  
"Oh wow... I'm sorry Amy...You two seemed...well pretty close" Karma said trying to find the right words.  
"We were, but..." Amy stopped talking mid sentence and swallowed hard. What was she messing about for? A voice inside her screamed "JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH!"

"Oh fuck it!" Amy said turning so she was facing Karma straight on. "We split up because of you. Because of my feeling towards you. Because I have not been able to stop thinking about you since I got back...and I...I've no fucking idea what that means...what might come of it...but it wasn't fair on Kate."

Karma sat there in silence absorbing Amy's words. Amy's heart stopped as she waited for a response. Just then, before either of them spoke, a family member came outside looking for Karma. Karma shouted that she was OK and would be right back in.

They walked over to the entrance in stunned silence as the two of them tried to process the situation. Just as they were about to enter the building Karma stopped and looked at Amy.  
"Lets away from here?" She asked quickly  
"Errrr Sure, but what about all the guests?" Amy asked sensibly  
"Not just from here, but from this town...lets go on a road trip!" Karma said excitedly, before adding "Just as friends...I mean..."  
Amy hesitated as she considered the suggestion  
"Look Amy...I know I have a lot to prove to you...we have a lot of time to catch up on and I...I promise I'm going to do whatever it takes to make up the last five years to you. Come on...whatcha say? A road trip like we always used to talk about when we were younger." Karma waited hopefully for Amy's response.

The voice inside Amy's head spoke again "LIFE'S TOO SHORT...WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" Amy's smile gave Karma the answer she was waiting for "What the heck...lets do it!" Karma yelped "But Karma...we take this slow yeah...we take this real slow...we build back our friendship and then.." Amy couldn't finish her sentence as Karma was hugging her "absolutely! I'm not messing this up a second time!" Karma replied.


	20. Chapter 20- Road Trip part 1

**This chapter is all about Karma and Amy getting used to spending time together again...as friends..but is it that easy**?

Three hours later and Karma was parked outside Amy's house ready for their road trip. Amy had rush homed, showered and packed a rucksack excitedly. She then sat and waiting nervously for what seemed like days!  
Amy's mum had been a bit worried about the idea when Amy had told her, but as Amy pointed out they weren't 15 anymore and that Amy had successfully lived in New York for the past six months.  
Amy promised to keep her updated on their location.

It was exciting not knowing where they were going. Years ago they had spent hours talking about all the places they wanted to visit in a Thelma and Louise stylie...minus the criminal activities! And now they were actually doing it.

Amy walked out with her bag to the car where Karma was waiting, she opened the passenger door and felt weak at the smell of Karma's perfume. Shit! This friends thing was really going to test her restraint, but she was determined that they had to get to know each other again.  
"Hey!" Amy said as she smiled at Karma. "Soooo I've no idea how long a road trip you have in mind, but just so you know I've packed for three days max OK?" She said as she climbed into the passenger seat.  
"Perfect" Karma replied smiling at Amy "Besides...we can always go shopping if we need new supplies!" She turned and looked at Amy taking a deep breath.  
"Ready? " she asked  
"Ready!" Amy replied as she buckled herself in. "Where we going?"  
Karma looked at Amy and then burst out laughing "I've actually no fucking idea!"  
Amy started laughing too "shit...we've had years to plan this and look at us!"  
"I know right!" Karma agreed "bloody rubbish. Right...you pick...North, South, East or West. The decision is yours my lady!"  
"East!" Amy said randomly  
"East it is.." Karma said switching on the engine. "But first we need supplies right?"  
"Of course!" Amy said as they pulled away from the house and headed towards the garage to stock up on drinks and snacks.

Once back on the road Amy realised how at ease she felt in Karma's company. They hadn't seen each other for five years, and yet it felt so natural to be there in the car with her. Just the two of them.

"Sooooo how are you feeling?" Amy asked  
"Like I really don't want to be asked how I'm feeling for a while!" Karma replied with a small smile "I mean I know everyone is just trying to look out for me...but I...I just kinda needed to get the hell away from that house..from the whole scene.." Karma paused and looked over to Amy before adding "I don't want you to worry...I mean I totally got what you said the other day...about me going to see someone about what's happened...I...know I need to talk through what's happened..to deal with it properly...but sometimes...sometimes it just really helps by doing something that makes you completely forget about it all...well maybe not completely...but having something else to think about really does help sometimes. Does that make sense?" Karma asked.  
"Sure." Amy replied. She completely understood what Karma meant. She alway did.  
"Did you speak to Shane?" Karma asked  
"Yeah eventually!" Amy replied "he did a good job of ignoring my calls, but I foxed him by calling the house phone and his dad picked up. I basically told him we were both in the wrong. I was wrong to lash out at him and put the blame on him...but equally he was wrong to interfere in my relationship."  
Karma took a quick sideways glance, opened her mouth..but then thought better if it. Amy saw this "what?" She asked "what were you going to say?"  
Karma shook her head..."nope. I shouldn't say it"  
"Look Karma, if we're going to build back up our friendship...we have to be honest with each other OK?"  
Karma absorbed Amy's words for a second and then nodded "You're right...no more secrets." Karma quickly looked over at Amy and with her cheeks reding slightly said "I was just going to say...that I'm PLEASED Shane interfered...if he hadn't, then you probably wouldn't be sitting right there now...and that would be rubbish."  
Amy didn't respond immediately, she was too busy internally agreeing with Karma's sentence.  
Realising she needed to say something back she cleared her throat and quickly added "yeah..that would be a bit rubbish!"

When Shane had told Karma how Kate had turned up at his in a mess she had felt so guilty. Amy was grateful that Shane had taken her in. Shane apologised for calling Kate, but said that he did it because he didn't want to see them break up. Amy explained that that really wasn't up to him, and as much as he might dislike Karma...it was not his place to try and stop whatever it was that was happening between them. He hadn't been happy when Amy had said about their road trip. And he had warned Amy about getting hurt again. Amy had reassured him that she knew what she was doing and that they had both agreed that this was a friends trip. She knew he wasn't happy with her decision, but it was her decision to make not his.

Karma and Amy had been driving west for around three hours during which time they talked about their experiences at college. About their subjects. Karma was studying drama and English with the view of becoming a teacher. Amy had spoken about her decision to pick journalism. The time had flown by and it was only when Karma let out a big yawn, that Amy realised she must be feeling pretty tired after everything that had happened.  
"Do you think we should call it a day. Find somewhere to stay and then carry on tomorrow?" Amy asked.  
"Maybe. I could do with a beer and some food." Karma replied.  
"That sounds like a very good idea. Just one question..." Amy asked "...well the hell ARE we?" She said laughing. "Seriously I have not been paying attention at all and we could be anywhere!"  
Karma laughed "how rubbish are we at road trips? we suck!" The two of them we laughing hard now, as they realised their situation.  
"Check the satnav" karma suggested. Amy tapped at the screen and as the map loaded up they realised they were near a town called Huntsville and soon found a motel. As they climbed out of the car and stretched, Amy said she would head over to the office to sort of their accommodation. As Amy walked across the car park she realised she didn't know what she should ask for? Two bedrooms? Or one but with twins. Definitely not a double...as tempting as it was.

Unfortunately for Amy the only room they had left was a double. Shit...how was she going to explain this to Karma?  
Amy told herself to be strong and headed back over to the car where Karma was waiting.  
"Soooo were number 17, but it's a double and it's the only room they had left. I did try for a twin or even two rooms.." Amy knew she was rambling, but she couldn't stop "if you want i'll sleep..."  
"Amy" karma said, finally stopping the words coming out of Amy's mouth "stop talking!...it's fine...we can share a double." Karma said confidentially as she took the key from Amy's hand and headed towards the room. "First though...I really need a shower."  
Amy wished she shared Karma's confidence.

Amy watched as Karma took the key from her hands and she quickly picked up her bag from beside her feet and followed Karma to the room. There was a drinks vending machine near their room and Amy stopped and got them a couple of beers. If Karma was going to be having a shower, Amy would need something to distract her!

Once in the room Karma dumped her bag on the floor and headed for the shower, calling out that she wouldn't be long.  
Amy sat on the edge of the bed listening as she heard the water start to pour on the otherside of the bathroom door. And then the mental imagine of Karma getting undressed flashed into Amy's mind and she flopped back onto the bed, letting out a groan as she did so. This was harder than she thought. Grabbing a beer and her phone from a nearby table, Amy decided it was best if she waited outside for Karma to finish. Better if she removed the temptation. She stepped outside and sent her mum a text message informing her they were fine and where they were.

After about 10 minutes the door to their room room opened and Karma poked her head out of the door looking for Amy. She was just holding a towel wrapped around her and Amy felt a wave of desire flood through her.  
"What you doing out here?"  
"Errr bad signal in the room and I thought I should, you know, text my mum." Amy looked at Karma who looked like she had been crying "Karma...what's happened?" Amy asked with concern.  
"It's OK...I just had a little moment in the shower. It's fine." She said clearly not wanting to discuss it further.  
"You sure?" Amy asked  
"Yeap! It just caught up with me...you know everything that's happened today." Karma paused, before adding "Amy...I'm might not look it right now, but I am really happy...happy you gave me a chance to try and make up for the past.." Karma stopped as the emotion started to take hold of her again.  
Amy smiled "me too. Now how about you get dressed and we go out and grab some food?" Amy said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Over a burger and beer they formulated a plan for the rest of the road trip.  
They settled on Baton Rouge as their destination and agreed to set off early the next morning.  
Back at the motel there was a slightly awkward moment when it got to the point when they needed to change into their pj's. Amy stupidly rushed to the bathroom claiming she needed to pee the moment Karma started to unbutton her shirt. Once inside the bathroom she then realised she had left her own clothes on the bed. Bugger!

She walked out and saw that Karma was already in bed. Amy now had to get undressed in front of her or make a bigger thing of it and go back into the bathroom. She instead turned her back to Amy and pulled off her Jumper, t-shirt and bra and quickly pulled on a vest and some shorts to sleep in. As she turned round she caught Karma watching, who then blushed and quickly turned off her bedside light.

Amy climbed into her side of the bed and switched off her light, plunging the room into darkness. Only it was really dark. The curtains didn't fully block out the lamp that was outside their room and so Amy could fully see the outline of Karma's body. Her back facing Amy, one arm outside the covers, her hair pulled over one shoulder. Amy was fighting hard the urge to lean in and place her lips on Karma's shoulder, to feel her soft skin against her lips, when she saw that Karma's shoulder was moving and she realised that Karma was crying again. Amy reached over and pulled Karma into her arms. Neither girl said anything, they just stayed like that until Karma eventually cried herself to sleep. Amy feel asleep shortly afterwards dreaming of Karma.


	21. Chapter 21

**So this story has been going on way too long and it seems it's all Reamy now, so I'll try and wrap this up soon. Thanks to those who have stuck with it. **

Amy woke up at the sound of the shower. She rolled over in the bed and rubbed her eyes, slightly confused by the unfamiliar surroundings. She sat up in bed and stretched. Once Karma had fallen asleep Amy had laid there for a while making sure she was OK, and then she herself had fallen into a deep sleep.

Amy heard the shower stop and looked over to the bathroom where Karma was clearly just getting out of the shower. Amy was shocked to see that the door to the bathroom wasn't closed properly and that from the bed she could see into the bathroom through a crack and saw Karma's naked reflection in the mirror. Amy felt a rush of desire between her legs and her cheeks flush instantly. Amy knew she shouldn't look, but she couldn't take her eyes away from the beautiful sight. Karma eventually wrapped a towel around her body and leant over the sink to brush her teeth.

Amy was NOT expecting that and it had totally taken her by surprise. But WHAT a surprise. Amy closed her eyes and flopped her face down into the pillow to muffle her groan of frustration as the image of a naked Karma flashed in front of her eyes. Amy had to use all of her strength to stop herself from walking into the bathroom and taking Karma there and then. Amy was still face down in bed deep in her dirty thoughts when she heard the bathroom door squeak and Karma walked into the room.  
"Hey" Karma said  
Amy opened her eyes and told herself she could do this and rolled over onto her back. "Hey you' Amy replied "How are you feeling today?"  
trying to sound normal.  
"Better thanks. I think the marathon tear session last night helped. Sorry about that!" Karma said slightly embarrassed.  
"Karma you have nothing to apologise for" Amy said siting up in bed  
"Thanks" Karma smiled back over at her friend. "So are you ready for day two of the Karmy Road Trip?" Karma asked positively as she sat down on the bed next to Amy who was trying to avoid looking at Karma's naked skin.  
Amy cleared her throat "I..umm sure am. What's the plan?" Amy asked as she made a move to get out out bed and head towards the shower.  
"Well I've heard there's this gay club in Baton Rouge that I thought it might be fun to go to tonight."Karma said hopefully.  
"Really?" Amy asked surprised at the suggestion.  
"Yeah. Would you be up for that?"  
Amy thought about the suggestion and guess it was Karma's attempt at snowing Amy that she was cool about the gay thing.  
"Will this be your first gay club?" Amy asked  
Karma got up and walked over to the wardrobe "Umm nope" She answered, much to Amy's surprise.  
"Really?" Amy asked intrigued  
Karma open the doors and knelt down to get some clothes out of her bag "yeah...I may have tried to you know...meet some other girls" Karma said calmly  
"WHAT!" Amy squealed "You went to gay bars to pick up girls?" Amy was amazed at Karma's confession.  
Karma tutted and turned to face Amy "I told you I had difficulty in accepting what I was feeling. I didn't know what it was. I was confused." Amy said as some sort of explanation.  
"AND..?" Amy asked  
"And I know what it is..." Karma replied as she pulled on a pair of black pants under her towel and reached round to do up her bra "I know what I am.."  
"Which is?" Amy was amazed at Karma's honesty

Karma turned and faced Amy and dropped the towel to reveal her body to Amy who's cheeks blushed again, Amy knew Karma was teasing with her, and she kinda liked it.  
Karma reached down and pulled out a jumper from her bag before responding "Well I know that I like girls with a sense of humour, confidence in who they are, green eyes and long blonde hair ..." Karma pulled the jumper on and looked over at Amy before adding

"oh yeah and they have to have the body to make a New Kids on the Block T-Shirt look totally sexy" Karma smiled at Amy and looked down at Amy's NKOTB Tee and winked.  
Amy let out a groan "You tease" She said playfully before heading into the bathroom making sure the door was closed behind her.

They had a fun day exploring Baton Rouge and found a nice hotel to stay in. As Amy was booking the room the receptionist asked what type of room they wanted. Twin or double. Amy answered instantly "Double please". She liked sleeping next to Karma. It was like old times.  
They got ready and walked the short distance to the club. During the day Amy had tried to probe Karma more about her 'gay' experience. Karma had explained that she had not slept with anyone else, other than Liam, but that she had nearly kissed a girl, only to back out and run for the hills. When Amy asked why she had had the reaction. Karma had shrugged her shoulders "I guess because it wasn't you!' Amy loved the answer and did a yippee inside herself.

Once in the club they found table and soon started having fun people watching and working out who would make out with who. The whole time they ignored their own desires. They were both working really hard at the friends thing and it really was helping. Amy felt so comfortable around Karma. After their third drink Amy was busting for a a pee. When she came out of the bathroom, Karma wasn't at the table where Amy had left her. Amy was starting to feel the effect of the drinks now and was loosening up and enjoying the evening. The club was getting busier and as she scanned the room looking for Karma she saw a couple of girls were checking her out. Amy wasn't interested and just wanted to find Karma, and then she saw her standing up at the bar... talking to a girl.

Amy stood and watched. Karma was laughing at something the girl had said to her and Amy didn't like it. Amy watched as Karma said something back, leaning in close to the girl so she would be heard above the music. The girl laughed and Amy felt sick as she saw the girl touch Karma's arm. Was Karma seriously flirting with another girl? After everything that she had said, after everything that had happened. Amy felt the anger start to rise within her. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid and fallen for Karma again.

Amy looked at the girl who was slightly taller that Karma and was uber feminine, maybe more Karma's type Amy thought to herself and she looked down at her own outfit, which all of a sudden looked really dull. She was dressed in a black jeans and a silver sleeveless top. The girl that Karma was currently pawing all over had really gone to town, and the top she was wearing left little to the imagination. Amy headed over to where they had been sitting and reached down and grabbed her coat and turned back to the direction of the bar just in time to see the girl hand over a slip of paper and give Karma a peck on the cheek kiss goodbye. Amy was fuming. Karma paid for her drinks and oblivious to Amy's anger, started heading back over to the table, a huge smile all over her face. As she approached the table and saw Amy standing there with her coat on and a face of anguish, Karma's smile quickly vanished as she saw Amy rush out the exit.

Karma quickly put the drinks on the table, grabbed her stuff and ran out after Amy who was walking down the allyway by the side of the club. There was a queue of people now waiting to get in who all looked at Karma as she called out.  
"Amy!" Karma shouted out in an attempt to make her stop. It didn't work. Karma watched as Amy purposefully kept walking away, she turned the corner and was momentarily out of sight. Karma started running after her and tried again "Amy...what the fuck is..."

Karma turned the corner and nearly ran straight into Amy who had stopped and was now staring Karma in the face.  
"What the fuck is wrong with ME?" Amy shouted angrily "Is that SERIOUSLY what you were going to say?" Amy asked, but didn't wait for a response.  
Amy shook her head, she couldn't believe it ..."you are unfucking believable Karma?" Amy spat back.  
Karma looked scared and confused "Amy" she looked Amy in the eyes trying to work out what was going on "What's...what's happened? I...I just went up to the bar to get us..." Amy interrupted  
"Yeah..." Amy shouted back "I know you did...and I SAW you Karma. I saw you fucking FLIRTING with THAT girl.."

Karma shook her head and laughed out loud, which irritated Amy.  
"Errrrr what's so fucking funny?" Amy snapped at Karma who was still shaking her head.  
"YOU!" She said smiling "You're funny because you're JEALOUS" Karma said laughing again.  
Amy didn't respond...she didn't know what to say.  
"Amy...I KNOW that girl from college. I mean I don't know her THAT well, but she's in one of my classes. Her name is Christina, she from here...that's how I knew about the club...she was there with her friend Ben who is gay."

Amy listened to Karma's words, still not 100% sure of the truth "OH..." Amy said feeling a bit stupid "But...I saw her give you her number."  
Karma laughed again. "No you donut...what you saw was her give me her number to give to Liam! She's seen him when he came to visit and confessed, after I told her that we had broken up, that she fancied the pants off him." Karma reached down and pulled open the piece of paper which sure enough was addressed to Liam.

Amy felt her cheeks start to blush with embarrassment as she realised she had made a right fool of herself. Amy closed her eyes and let out a groan "Ahhh Shit!" She let out a little laugh "I...I've made a bit of an idiot of myself haven't I?" she asked Karma  
"A BIT?" Karma laughed "You made a TOTAL tit of yourself!" Karma added  
Amy groaned again "OK, OK...go easy on me" Amy pleaded as she tried to find some composure. Tried some way to talk herself out of this situation. Tried to find a way of playing down the fact that Amy had got totally jealous and possessive over Karma.  
"SOOOO..." Karma said jokidly  
"Soooooo...ummm..." Amy looked at the floor to avoid Karma's eyes which were now staring directly at her. "...so I guess we now know I'm the..ummm... jealous protective type!" Amy looked up from the floor and saw that Karma was smiling smugly. "What?" Amy said smiling back

Karma shrugged her shoulders "I dunno..." she answered "I just kinda liked it.."

"You did?" Amy asked amazement in her voice  
Karma nodded her head slowly.  
Amy's heart started beating faster. Karma looked so amazingly sexy and there was that playful hint in her words. They were both trying SO hard to do the friends only thing, to take their time...but it was killing Amy.  
"Wanna go back in hit the dance floor" Karma asked 'You know...show the kids a move or two?" Karma busted out a move from their Straight Up dance routine.  
Amy laughed "errr sure." As the turned and started walking back to the club.

Once back inside Amy got them both a shot to get them back in the mood and soon the two of them were dancing away just like old times. Amy noticed that Karma despite getting lots of attention from the other girls in the club, literally only had eyes for Amy. She didn't take them off her all night. Amy felt at times like it was just the two of them again. Everyone else didn't stand a chance. They broke into dance routines and laughed and joked with each other as if the past five years had never happened.

A bass kicked in and Karma let out an excited groan "Maaaan I LOVE this song" She said grabbing Amy's hand as she pulled her closer as Beyonce's Partiition started blaring out the speakers. Karma danced around Amy and Amy felt dizzy at the feeling she had. Out of the blue Amy leant into Karma so she could be heard over the bass  
"Karma..I'm sorry. About jumping to the wrong conclusion.."  
Karma gave Amy a reassuring smile "It's OK. I know that I need to earn your trust. I promise you...I'm not going to do anything to mess this up OK. We go at your pace. We take things slowly and hope for the best."  
Amy swallowed hard, took a deep breath and then leant back in "I..I can't do it any more" Amy said into Karmas ear making her stop dancing and look worriedly at Amy. They were still stood in the middle of the dancefloor and someone bumped into Amy, breaking their gaze.  
Amy's heart was thumping so hard she took Karma by the hand and started walking off the dance floor with Karma dutifully following.  
Amy weaved her way through the crowd until she found a space at the side of the dance floor. She turned to face Karma who looked so worried and scared. Amy firmly pushed Karma up against the wall and then leant in so close that hairs all over Karma's body stood up as she felt Amy's breath on her skin.  
"Karma...I can't do it anymore" Amy repeated  
Karma's eyes searched nervously at Amy's in the hope that she had misheard "Can't do what?" She asked  
Amy closed her eyes and let the emotions wash over her "WAIT.."


	22. Chapter 22

Karma stared at Amy and then slowly "Then don't!"

Amy cupped Karma's face in her hands and firmly planted her lips on her mouth. Karma responded by wrapping her arms around Amy, pulling her towards her, so they were as close as they could possibly be. Their kisses were fast and frantic, their tongues exploring each other's mouths, exploring the space for the first time. Their previous kisses had been purely for show...now they were the real deal . Amy's hands were now running through Karma's hair and again she pushed her into her kisses. They were both completely lost in the moment, unable to control the want and lust they both felt for each other.

Karma's heart was beating so fast as she responded to Amy's kisses. The sensation of her lips hungrily touching hers, the sensation of Amy's hands running through her hair, stroking the back of her neck sent shingles down her body. The sensation of feeling Amy's super fit body pushed firmly up against her. Her heart was beating fast and she could feel the heat between her legs growing more and more powerful she thought she might explode. She needed to do something about it, needed more of Amy.

Amy moved her mouth away from Karma's and redirected her kisses to Karma's perfect neck. Amy's kisses were now soft and gentle and in between each kiss Karma could feel Amy's warm breath on her skin and it sent shivers down her body. Amy moved the kisses up Karma's neck and then whispered into Karma's ear "I want to touch you so fucking much". Hearing and feeling Amy's words made Karma's legs buckle slightly. Luckily for her she was still pined up tight against Amy so didn't fall.

Karma found Amy's eyes and looked deeply into them before responding with a smile "I actually think I might explode if you don't!" Amy smiled back "me too".

They had completely forgotten about everyone else in the club. They were so encapsulated in the moment, in how amazing it finally felt to be kissing each other. Taking Karma by the hand they turned and left the club. Once out of the club Amy leant in and planted her lips back onto Karma's, unable to resist the temptation. This time their kiss was gentle and slow, but it was having the same effect on Amy as she felt the wetness between her legs grow. She moved her lips up to Karma's neck and planted soft slow kisses down the side which made Karma moan "fuck Amy!" Karma said slowly. "how..how do you do that? oh my god..it...it feels amazing!" Amy felt Karma's hands in her her hair as she gently ran her tongue over her collar bone which made Karma shiver.

"Amy" Karma said breathily "seriously if you don't stop now I am literally going to come right here...right now!" Amy reluctantly pulled away from Karma's neck and looked into her eyes which were wide with desire. As much as Amy wanted to continue. She wanted their first time to be special. She wanted it to last all night. She wanted Karma to scream her name out loud.

"OK..." Amy laughed. "I'm sorry...I just totally love kissing your angry-astroid muscle" Karma burst out laughing as she remembered the stupid joke they had shared from their first anatomy class all those years ago. Looking at Amy who was smiling back "do you remember what it was called?" She asked "of course..." Amy replied proudly, before adding "I mean who can forget the word sternocleidomastoid!" Karma laughed "not me!".

Just then as Amy stared at Karma and her beautiful face, those big eyes and that soft, prefect skin, she took Karma's hand and placed over her heart "see what you do to me Karma Ashcroft!" Amy said as her beating heart could easily be felt through her clothes. Karma's heart melted slightly and then after a quick check over her shoulder, and with a mischievous smile on her face, she moved theirs hands and placed Amy's hand up her dress and between her thighs. Seeing the shock on Amy's face turned Karma on even more. Leaning in she whispered "see what you do to me!".

Amy closed her eyes and let out a groan of desire. "OK. how fast do you think you can run back to the hotel?" Amy challenged Karma "because I REALLY need to get you out of those clothes" Karma playfully pushed Amy off balance, leant down and slipped off her heels and started running, shouting out over her shoulder "last one back smells!"

"Hey!" Amy shouted out "That's not fair!" As she chased after Karma.

to be continued...


	23. Chapter 23

**OK so no more teasing...this is my take on the moment Amy and Karma get it on. Let me know if you like it. **

Amy won the race back to the hotel room and as soon as the two of them were back in the room the both, there was nothing stopping them now. No Liam. No Kate. No fears.

Amy's heart was pounding so fast, the surge of desire was overwhelming. She had waited SO long for this moment. So long for Karma to be standing in front of her, feeling the same way as she did. "I want you so much" Amy said as she saw the same desire as she felt reflected in Karma's eyes.

"I've been thinking of nothing else all day since I saw you naked through the bathroom door." Amy admitted.

Karma pulled Amy into her, placing her juicy lips on Amy's mouth. Their kisses intensified and Karma heard Amy let out a small groan.

"I left the door open on purpose" Karma admitted in between kisses. "I...I was kinda hoping it would make you realise how much you wanted me"

Karma continued kissing Amy, her tongue exploring Amy's mouth. Amy opening her mouth, inviting Karma's tongue to enter, to explore.

"I've always wanted you!" Amy whispered into Karma's ear as she started kissing her neck, shoulder, lips. The intensity of their kisses showed the desire that their kissing had created.

"I..." Karma's started speaking in between their kisses "I've never felt like this before Amy...I'm so fucking turned on.."

Amy loved the fact that Karma was as turned on as she was, and decided,enough was enough. Without breaking their kissing Amy walked Karma over to the bed and gently pushed Karma down onto the bed. Karma smiled and looked up from her position at Amy who was standing over here, the desire all over her face.

Karma sat up and started pulling Amy's top off. Amy helped her by pulling it over head and throwing it in the floor. The cool air on Amy's skin felt good after their race. Amy climbed on the bed and straddled Karma between her legs and started tugging at Karma's dress. It wasn't budging "how the hell..." Amy asked as she searched for a way to get Karma out of the dress. Karma laughed "errr I thought you'd done this one or twice Raundenfeld!" As she undid the zip on the side of her dress.

Amy let out a small laugh "what can I say...Kate wasn't much of a dress girl! Now..let's get you out of this dress" Karma willingly lifted her arms up as Amy pulled the dress up over Karma's head and dropped it on the flow.

Amy looked down at Karma who was wearing matching black underwear and a look on her face that drove Amy wild. Karma grabbed Amy by the arm and pulled her down on top of her, kissing her again. Karma's placed her hands on Amy's back as she pulled Amy into her.

Amy repositioned herself slightly, using her thigh to push Karma's legs apart she felt Karma's body buck up to meet hers. Amy moved her hands to Karma's breasts and playfully brushed the outside of her bra through which Amy felt Karma's erect nipples. Amy heard the small groan from Karma and thrusted harder, their pleasure points rubbing against each other... Causing heat and wetness between both of their legs. Amy quickened up the grinding to match her desire for the beautiful woman beneath her. Amy opened her eyes and looked at Karma's perfect face.

Karma's eyes were closed as she savoured the sensual feeling. "I've wanted this for so long" Amy whispered, the words slightly getting caught in her through which was tight with desire. Karma opened her eyes and looked back at the gorgeous blonde lying on top of her, smiling at the sight and what Amy had just said. "I...I...just don't want to get it wrong" Karma said showing her nerves for the first time. Amy had been so lost in her desire, she had forgotten that this was Karma's first time with a girl and that she might be feeling nervous. Amy leant in and placed a slow kiss on Karma's lips "there is NO wrong way Karma..." Amy said moving her body down Karma's, planting soft gentle kisses as she went along "this..this feels SO right"

Once level with Karma's breast Amy used her hands to remove her bra. Karma wasn't prepared for the sensation she felt as Amy's tongue reached her erect nipple. The sensation was electric as Amy sucked it hard, taking it in her mouth and playfully flicking it with her tongue. Amy felt Karma squirm underneath her in please and as she moved over to the other breast she heard Karma take a deep intake of breath. Karma had had sex before, had had her nipples sucked and teased before, but what Amy was doing was incredible. She was bringing her so near Karma needed to do something before she came.

Reaching down over Amy's back she clumsily undid Amy's bra, Amy helping her with the last clasp, and then Karma pulled Amy back up so she could kiss her again. Their naked breasts and torsos pressed against each other, their hips grinding against each other. Fast and then slower. Karma felt her nerves start to leave her as she just did what came naturally. As she listened to what her body was telling her. What Amy's movements were telling her. Karma knew she need to touch Amy. Without breaking their kisses she moved her hands down the side of Amy's fit body and started trying to undo the button. She couldn't do it, but then Amy's fingers took over and soon she was wiggling out of her jeans kicking them off the bed.

Karma couldn't wait a minute longer, she needed to touch Amy... Needed to feel Amy touch her. She wiggled out from beneath Amy so they were lying on the sides, kissing each other faster, harder as their passion grew. Karma breathed in suddenly as she felt Amy's fingers playfully stroke her stomach just above her underwear, karma was willing her to go lower. Needed her to go lower. Amy teased again...this time she slowly ran her fingers down the front of Karma's pants which were now so wet. Amy hesitated and softly brushed the point that Karma wanted her so much to touch. It was torture.

Karma opened her eyes and saw that Amy was watching her, watching the moment the desire became torture, waiting for the exact moment when Karma couldn't take anymore. Karma pleaded as she closed her eyes and buried her head into Amy's neck, playfully biting down on her shoulder at which point she heard Amy groan with pleasure. "please Amy...I need you to touch me"

Amy kissed Karma hard as she slipped her fingers under the material of her underwear and let her fingers slide into Karma's wetness. Amy felt Karma's body shudder and Amy felt a whole new wave of wetness flood between her own thighs. She was so turned on. She knew she was close to her own orgasm and wasn't sure how long she could hold it off.

Her fingers plunging into Karma. Karma moaned in pleasure as she felt Amy insert her fingers into her and then quickly pull them out... And then in again... Over and over. "Fuck" Amy groaned into Karma's ear "you feel so fucking good. Touch me Karma. I need to feel you in me. I ... I need you to ... Oh fuck!"

Karma didn't need a second invitation, her hand was down Amy's pants, her fingers rubbing Amy, exploring Amy. Amy knew that she was so turned on it wouldn't take Karma long to bring on her orgasm. She wanted to feel the connection when they came at the same time... Looking into each others eyes as their bodies convulsed with pleasure.

Every part of Karma's body was so sensitive... Amy's fingers was literally sending shock waves through her body. Amy's thumb rubbed Karma hard "oh god" Karma groaned " don't stop... there... God yes... ther..." Sensing Karmas orgasm was about to take hold of her was enough to send Amy over the edge.

Lying side by side, hands down each others pants, their lips bumping against each other, their eyes locked on each other they came together. Both of them groaning, Karma's body bucked against Amy as Amy pulled her closer to her. As close as they could be.

They stayed lying like that for a while as their bodies recovered. They never took their eyes off each other as Amy stroked Karma's hair. No words were needed. Their bodies had said all that needed to be said.


	24. Chapter 24

Karma finally broke the silence "WOOAH" she said in a still shaky voice.

"I know" Amy replied sharing Karma's thoughts on what had just happened. Amy's breathing was slowly regaining it's normal pace. Amy leant over to karma and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

Karma wrapped her arms around Amy and pulled her in close. Karma loved the way Amy's skin felt. It was so soft and smooth. She couldn't stop touching it. She ran her hands down Amy's back, an action that caused Amy to close her eyes let out a deep long breath that caused the hairs on Karma's neck to stand up.

Amy slowly opened her eyes smiled at the sight of Karma's beautiful face. Amy gentle traced the outline of Karma's lips with her finger tip. "You're so beautiful" Amy whispered.

Karma swallowed hard and couldn't stop the small tear that quickly formed in the corner of her eye from falling down her cheek. She moved quickly to brush it away in the hope that Amy wouldn't have seen it, but Amy was looking right at Karma. "What's wrong?" She asked softly "did I do something wrong?" Amy asked.

Karma couldn't speak, she shook her head whilst she found her voice

"NO!" She responded "Amy...everything is just amazing...I..I can't believe that this happened...I thought I had blown it..thought that it was too late..." Karma paused as her throat tightened with emotion. She took a deep breath to try and compose herself before continuing

"I guess I...I just feel so happy and I feel bad that I feel this happy...I...I feel like I shouldn't be happy." Amy gentle wiped the tears that were now rolling down Karma's cheeks.

"Karma...it's OK to feel happy. Your not to blame for what happened to your parents...they they would want you to be happy."

Karma considered Amy's words and closed her eyes as she thought of her parents and how happy and supportive they had been when they had thought her and Amy were a couple. They would probably be happy now that it had actually happened.

Karma stared back into Amy's green eyes and felt her heart literally stop beating. Karma thought she was the most perfect thing she had ever seen. Those eyes that Karma had pictured in her dreams for years. Those eyes that used to sparkle around her were now staring back at her, letting her know it was going to be OK.

"I love you Amy" Karma whispered. "I love you so fucking much"

Amy's heart melted at those words. Those words that she had so longed to hear five years ago when she had declared her feelings for her at her mums wedding. Back then Karma had broken Amy's heart by saying that she didn't love her the same way. Karma had denied her feelings back then, but now, as they laid there side by side, parts of their bodies still throbbing, it was impossible to hide their true feelings.

"I love you too Karma. I...I think I always have." Amy said back as she looked deep into Karma's eyes. The relief was visible on Karma's face as she leant in and planted her lips on Amy's. Amy's mouth opened invitingly and Karma's tongue accepted the invitation. It didn't take long for the kisses to speed up as a new wave of lust took

"Fancy a shower?" Amy asked in a voice that Karma couldn't refuse.

They made love in the shower and twice more afterwards until eventually they were both totally spent. Amy watched Karma as she fell asleep in her arms for the second night in a row and wondered if there was a more perfect sight.

They slept until late and were busy getting it on again when the chambermaid burst in on them as she tried to clean the room.

In their rush back the night before they had forgotten to put the do not disturb sign on the door. Amy found it hilarious. Karma was however mortified.

Amy tried to reassure her that it was probably a hazard of the job, and that maybe they had just made her day, but Karma hadn't found it funny and had jumped straight in the shower, alone this time. Alone in the bed Amy thought about Karma's reaction and whether she really was as cool about being 'different' as she was making out. It was one thing to be comfortable kissing another girl in a gay club, but it was different in the 'big wide world'.

Amy had been pretty much out from day one, and being in New York she had never had any bad experience when with Kate, but she knew she would have to be patient which Karma, in case she had a wobble. Amy didn't doubt Karma's love for her and after last night she certainly didn't doubt her physical attraction for Amy. The rest could be worked on.

Their road trip was coming to an end. Amy had told her mum that she would be back that day, but neither of them wanted it to end.

As they walked to the car with their bags, Karma read Amy's mind "I wish we didn't have to go back. Can we not stay here for a few more days?" Karma had pleaded. In Karma's mind going home would bring everything back to reality. She would be going home to an empty house and that scared her so much.

Amy saw the sadness form on Karma's face and taking her hand she raised it to her lips and planted a gentle reassuring kiss on it.

"I know...it's tempting, but Karma this isn't going to go away when we go home. I..I'm not going to leave you on your own OK?" Amy knew that in less than a week it would be Christmas and Karma would have to deal with all the emotions and sadness that would bring.

Karma smiled weakly at Amy. Her body language showed she wasn't 100% convinced by Amy's words "I hope your right." She replied "it's just that it's so much easier when it's just the two of us.."

Amy smiled before joking "well three if you include the chambermaid!" Karma's rolled her eyes at Amy's poor joke. Amy saw that Karma was genuinely worried about this.

Wrapping her arms around Karma's waist, Amy pulled her in for a hug. Karma rested her head on Amy's shoulder and Amy felt her let out a long sigh.

"Karma...this is just the start OK?" She didn't wait for a response "we have a lot of talking to do...a lot to figure out...like how the hell am I going to cope without you when I go back to New York?"

Karma moved her head to look at Amy in realisation of the problem they faced. "Shit! I..I hadn't even thought about that!" Karma admitted sadly. "I..don't know how I'll cope not having you around" Karma admitted. Amy knew she wasn't being over dramatic, karma was grieving the loss of her parents, and right now her major source of happiness was Amy. They needed to talk through all the options. To come up with a plan to make this work.

"Amy leant in a place a soft gentle kiss on Karma's forehead. "Karma we have the next two weeks together to work this out. We're not going to mess this up again OK?" Amy said firmly "everything is within our control ok. This time we talk to each other. We don't hide our feelings, good or bad. We're a team and we'll deal with things that come our way OK?"  
"Karma smiled and nodded. She felt safe and secure with Amy and she never wanted that feeling to go away.  
"Team Karmy" she said as she smiled back at Amy.  
"Team Karmy" Amy repeated and pulled Karma into her arms.

**OK so for those of you still reading I think this is where this story ends. It feels like it's a neat way to wrap it up****...otherwise I'm just to end up writing chapter after chapter of them having sex..and although my imagination would like that, I'm not very good at it. **

**I think this story was very much about them getting together...about Karma explaining to Amy how she really felt and Amy's reaction to that news. would she pick Kate or Amy. I hope you liked the story and thanks for those who have been reading it from the start. I might write another short one. **


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